Look Out Below

Obsession

2010-06-23T20:20:00.000-07:00

Is it bad to be obsessed with someone I barely know? At least I'm feeling something now... Not the previous emptiness... I think I'm afraid of committing to someone, especially the way I am... I put so much trust onto the person that I no longer trust myself.

Wait... Is that right?

I think I'm just afraid of the pain... The pain I felt before... And I'm committing the same mistakes as before... I'm either too pushy or too laid-back... Sigh... I should be able to do this.

And girl, happy birthday.

Chest pains.

2010-05-19T05:56:00.000-07:00

Help. My heart hurts. It's burning. It's cold. Damn it all. Why does it hurt? It's not even supposed to be there anymore... ARGHHHHHHHHH! Help... ...

The pain is making me different. I can't stand this. I can't take it. But I need to be strong. No one should be reading this now. No one would be reading this now....

I am abnormal right?

2010-04-28T11:10:00.000-07:00

I am abnormal? FUCK YOU!

It's not right my foot! It won't be right as a father to not tell me it's wrong? It's not right for a fucking father to tell his son he's ABNORMAL!

Hell, if it wasn't for your fucking heart I'd be talking back, but no. I need to sit there and take in all that crap about not being normal.

If I ever fucking snap and kill some one? I can safely say a large part of the blame can go to my father. All that anger that I can't express just so that you'd shut up? It's got to go somewhere right?

Instead, you continue to prod me, like a fucking kid hitting a beehive. Oh, what do you think we should do to help you? What is the cure? I'm not fucking SICK. UGH!

Soul. Heart. Body.

2010-03-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

Hey, I think I've really lost my heart. I guess that's good?

Now that I've lost my heart, how about that soul of mine? I'm still too good...

I've lost the ability to really love I guess, now it's time to find a way to relieve me of the pain... The pain that I have been holding inside for oh so long...

How do I do that? By going out I guess. That's the only time I think I'll feel less empty. I've smiled, I've laughed, I've joked. All the time I still feel something wrong... Something missing.

Maybe if I go out and try my luck in the ocean... I might find someone to replace the gaping hole in my life...

I may break a few hearts, I may hurt a few people... But I guess that's just a part of life huh?

The heart, body and soul,
were supposed to be as one,
but a piece got broken from the trio,
and the life got undone.

Diverged from his predestined path,
where he once was to be great,
now dressed in rags and shackles,
he is now fueled by his hate.

The pain he feels lies unchecked,
he hides his torture from the rest,
still he screams within himself,
the agony beating his very best.

He's confused at people nowadays,
how do they love he asks,
when all they love are those devils,
only wearing kind and charming masks.

Now his heart torn asunder,
his soul holding by a thread,
his body tired from all the pain,
he just has one last verse to add...

I would love to say that I love you,
but before doing so I need to know,
would you love me as I'd love you,
and would I feel better with no soul.

Sigh.

2010-03-11T07:01:00.000-08:00

I guess I can just pop in to say that I'm depressed. Hope no one really reads this anymore.. Not really showing it. Not really feeling it. But it's there... The destructive thoughts...

The damning emotions...

The feelings that drag me down... Down... down...

I can't see the way out,
thought I'd be out by now,
but in the end I just can't fight,
it's my own way of life.

I can't bear to hurt anyone,
even if it means bearing it alone,
I want to relieve this pain,
but to do so would be so unfair... To anyone...

I could just say yes,
I could just hold you closer,
I could just show you how I love,
But what I do is to protect you...
Protect you from my selfishness...

Because I know... I know there won't be any good...
Nothing good would come from it,
Only pain, confusion and despair,
more than there already is.

Let me tell you something,
If I had ever thought for a second,
you were the one I wanted, I needed,
I would have said yes, I would have given myself up.

But i'm sorry to say, You're not the one.
I'm sorry to say that I didn't feel anything,
I'm sorry I can't help you,
I'm sorry I can't help me... I wish you were... I wish I could...

But that isn't me... I wouldn't do that...
Oh how I wish I could just choose anyone...
And get this over with... Get the pain to dissipate...
The loneliness, the feeling of having no one, you know so well...
I know so well...

Well, yes, the way we cope.
It's completely different.
And you'll realize it soon. I hope. That I just don't think it's right.

Sigh, but how I wish it not to be so.

Interests.

2010-01-30T09:17:00.000-08:00

I'll always be here,
Never will I move away,
As long as you're near,
And no matter what they say.

Even if you don't see me,
Don't be afraid to call,
I'll be there real quickly,
Even if the sky starts to fall.

Don't worry when I get real down,
It's nothing but insecurities,
So my mind needs to be unwound,
To get rid of those uncertainties.

When I'm no longer here with you,
Don't worry because you're not alone,
That guy will know what to do,
He's like a reliable clone.

This last one is for the rain,
You better protect her at all cost,
And get used to some pain,
We all have our loves lost.

NG~

I think this really is becoming an emo blog.

2009-12-27T03:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I dunno why I only post emo stuff here.. I'm not really that sad usually.
Haha, I just come here to pour out the emo in me I guess. Hahaha.
Lemme see, now that my 'A's are over, I have so much time. But sadly, I don't really update...

Anyway, typing out a long post for the next one..

Oh and I go NS on 11th Jan. Sux? SUCKS!

Sigh~ Well, Stuff to complain about: NS is so early, what the heck happened to my face?, i still can't find love, i'm tired of being mr. nice guy...

Well. That's all for now. Look forward to the next post, it's story time!

Free.

2009-11-26T03:07:00.000-08:00

The previous post is up to you to interpret.

Anyway, exams are almost over. I wonder what I want to do after this...
Hmmm... If anyone wants to go out, I'm really free...

Shakespeare quote #1

2009-11-22T05:33:00.000-08:00

A blank, my lord. She never told her love,
But let concealment, like a worm i' the bud,
Feed on her damask cheek: she pined in thought,
And with a green and yellow melancholy
She sat like patience on a monument,
Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?
-Viola, Twelfth Night 2. 4

*smile*

Mid-'A's

2009-11-16T01:52:00.000-08:00

Let me ask you people, those in a relationship. Do you guys really think your partner is the One? Or are you just in the relationship? How did you feel about the person when he or she confessed? How did YOU feel about the person when you confessed?

Do you really mean it when you say, "I Love You."?

I dunno, I just can't see this in so many relationships nowadays. I look around and I see so many people with broken relationships. So many people who are in relationships that won't last...

I admit, the one time I was in a relationship, I thought she was the One, well, apparently, she didn't. I was ready to dedicate my life for her, do anything for her, and well, it didn't work well. I guess I respect her feelings too much. I don't want to hurt her, I don't want to bring up the past. I'm sorry if I did anything to hurt her, or if I didn't do anything, but no matter. I doubt she'd come back.

Anyway~ I'm going on with life, but big problem... Why can't I find someone else to love? I think it's very sad... My situation that is... I want to be in a relationship, I'd willingly enter a relationship, but only if I feel that it's right. So in the end, I'm not with anyone...

Oh sure, I can still see who's good looking, who's nice. Like I can tell myself, oh, she's good-looking, and nice, and she smart and funny too. Totally my type! Heck, she's perfect! But the thing is... I can't see myself loving the girl. What's up with that? She's a great girl! Sigh...

Maybe if I just winged it? If i paid no attention to my heart. Entered the relationship just like that? If I just do what so many others do? Maybe I might find the one in her? Maybe it has to be done this way?

I'm old-fashioned right? I'm an old-romantic. That's not good in this world anymore. Sigh, I'll probably die alone, a distinguished old man with his pet cat. I'll sit in front of a fireplace, reading a book, drinking my sherry. Maybe smoking a pipe. Might start next time...

Well, hey, mid-way through 'A' levels! WOotS! Chem paper tomorrow. Lets get this over with!!!

Regret

2009-07-29T08:48:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when i let myself go..
I'm pathetic. Ughh. You don't know what was going through my mind... Hopes, wishes, YOU. Nothing I said came out the way i wanted, i just wanted to see your smiling face, I didn't want to change that. Seeing you smile and laugh made me so happy I forgot that there was anything wrong. Everything felt right when I saw you smile. But when you said cya, i said bye, and the door closed. I just blanked out for 5-10mins. I just sat at the stairway, thinking... What you said, what i said, what i thought, what i DIDN'T say.. How I was a god-damn COWARD! ARghh! I couldn't say how i felt. I hoped again, that you were at home, thinking of me too. Maybe, maybe not the same way i was thinking of you. How i wished you would open the door again, that i could see your face smile and laugh and my pains will wash away, then I'll be able to die faster.
I was so afraid, what would happen if i said the wrong thing and it got awkward? And I would NEVER be able to see her face again. Her face, her... Laughing... Heh. I would DIE. I don't care about enduring this pain now, maybe I'll just be with her like this and I'll be able to watch her laugh again. But if she reads this post, i don't know what'll happen. Heh.
So you see, today, I came back to dreamland for a few hours, to enjoy my pain, to wallow in my happiness and to scream in my sorrow. Tomorrow, I shall die again and all will be well. Tomorrow, I will lose all feelings again and i shall continue studying, dead, life will be death and death will be life. Tomorrow, but today, let me suffer, let me cry, let me laugh at everything that has happened and then tomorrow, I will cut myself off again.
Oh, btw, I shouldn't be blogging but since i'm breaking all the rules, i might as well post and inform you all eh. On hiatus till november~december. Cya. Bye.

In school

2009-06-01T22:34:00.000-07:00

Heyyyy..
I'm using the school comp to blog... Hmmmph. I've quit facebook now.
Given my password to my mom and got her to change it... WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS!!
*shiver* *shiver* *mutter* Ughhhh... FACEBOOOOOOOOOK!

So now I'm going into mid-years... Sighh... I need to resist... Must not do anything that i'll regret... Hai!

Jiayou!! Everyone! Aim for the top!

The higher you are, the harder you fall..

2009-05-10T23:13:00.000-07:00

Hey.
I had a dream, that might not be far from the truth... It was actually more of a nightmare... I was thinking, that i'll probably not pass my 'A' levels. With my level of seriousness, my level of commitment, I'll probably fail very badly... I've not been studying, I've not been concentrating... But even after that dream, why am I still not afraid? Why am I still dawdling around? Okay, I am afraid that I'll fail, but I'm not doing anything... I'm not helping myself... Arghhh. I wish I could just be more serious about my life.. It's like I don't care what's happening to me when I really DO care. What am I doing? Why am I wasting away to nothing? From the guy in secondary school, the cool guy who was good in his studies, was able to top in his secondary school among the guys! What is he now? He's disappeared. He's now the bottom in his school. What happened? Was it because of the girl? Was it because of the laptop? Was it because of the manga or facebook? Why? What happened to the guy I was so proud of? He's dead... He's become an emo freak who can't stop sleeping in class and isn't worth anything. You know.. Last time, I told myself that I'll be able to get rich, by getting through university, then getting a job at a bank firm or something like that, but I realized getting rich isn't so easy as getting a job at a bank, I need to be a minister to be considered rich, then I realized I had to be up there... From the start, from RI, RJC, to be a leader. But I realized that it'll be difficult, especially after I've sunk so low. How am I going to get up? I don't know... It just seems so far away, so... irrational... Out of my league... Sigh... I don't know what to do..

Someone to hold.

2009-05-01T07:54:00.000-07:00

Fast 4 min post before going off.

Everyone finds their someone to hold sometime.
Some lose them. Only to find someone else.
Some think they'll never find theirs just to find them in their arms.
Some just have them since they can remember...

But. Some search and search... Never finding the right one... Even though you yearn for them. You know you can love them with all your heart. You'll never betray them while there are other B*******s out there F***ing around with them... But yet. There's no one...

Some. I guess. Some are not fated to have anyone.

I am.

2009-04-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

I am a thousand people.
I am myself.
I am all but myself.
I am nothing.
I am the person you know.
I am not the person you know.
I am him.
I am for you.
I am for myself.
I am for you to love.
I am to love you.
I am not in love.
I am unable to love.
I am indifferent, yet i care.
I am responsible, yet irresponsible.
I am the one only i understand. But i don't...
I am the only one who understands. But i don't...
I am different.
I am the same.
I am you, and you, and you.
I am there for YOU.
I am the one who loves you, but can't love.
I am the one who thinks, but cannot think.
I am lost.
I am not alone, but yet i am.
I am unsure.
I am sure.
I am giving up, but i won't give up.
I am still alive, but i feel so dead.
I am sure you understood the last one.
i am tired.
I am tired of life, of love, of work.
I am jealous.
I am fat.
I am fit.
I am cheerful.
I am happy.
I am high.
I am emotional.
I am depressed.
I am stressed.
I am carefree.
I am funny.
I am dull.
I am charming.
I am witty.
I am idiotic.
I am egoistic.
I am filled with self-doubt.
I am a turn-off.
I am cool.
I am clumsy.
I am forgetful.
I am sociable.
I am a loner.
I am a drifter.
I am very easily swayed.
I am sad.
I am missing you. All of you.
I am missing me.
I am hopeful.
I am desperate.
I am fighting myself.
I am losing.
I am winning.
I am confused.

...
I am Nicholas Goh.
I am a JC2 student in MJC.
I am not doing well.
I am close to doing something very stupid.
I am sure i won't do it.
I am not THAT stupid.
I am impulsive at times though.
I am a teacher, a student, a volunteer and a brother.

I AM NICHOLAS GOH! AND I WILL PERSEVERE!

The tampines incident

2009-04-12T05:22:00.000-07:00

Been some time.
I went out with my primary school peeps yesterday. Was fun. Ate at PizzaHut, watch the Shinjuku Incident. Woah All the hands sliced off... Tsk tsk. The song secondhand serenade would be perfect in the movie. Or they could set up a secondhand shop. Hahhaha. And for a Jackie Chan show, it has surprisingly few action scenes, well, when there were, they're particularly cool in the hand-sliced-off kinda way.

Well, I felt kinda bad coz i felt kinda stressed to go back to study. Since i'm failing everything (almost).. Well. The only other person in JC, LiWen(Yes you), had to go home early coz of curfew.. Damn sad.. But a lot of pressure on me lehh.. hahaha...

Well after the movie we went to the playground under Joanne's block to camwhore. She brought her nephew(nephew right?) down. Jayden... He's very playful.. But shy also.. Which was fine by me. Reuben was all "I HATE KIDS" tsk tsk. It's gonna be difficult passing down your name.. hahhaa... Well, there're enough Ng-s in Singapore anyway... Hahhaa... And i felt so tempted to go back to my primary school days. Play blind mice and catching. Ivy was playing with the balloon and getting us to play. Hahaha. That was the closest to regression to childhood.

Well instead, we were cam-whoring. YES reuben you were too. The photos not with me and i'm too lazy to put it transfer to my laptop. Sad...

HEY! NO Emo!!! Hahahhaa. Lets make one! Muahahaha...

A boy goes crazy in tampines and starts cutting everyone's hands off with a chopper.
Slice* Slice* Slice*
He was detained after he finally sliced his own hands off and fainted from blood loss. 34 hands were found around tampines that day. He was detained and questioned. He said he only did it because he knew that if he didn't have hands he wouldn't have to do anymore exams. And he wanted to save everyone from the pains of exams. *hysterical laughter* He was wrong. During his sentence, he was punished by having to do his exams with his mouth. The End.

Masks.

2009-03-29T07:51:00.000-07:00

My mask took over my identity. What used to be a substitution is now permanent. When i put on this mask a year ago. I never meant for it to stick. Now i can't take it off.

What to do. What to do. Not a question. Just little mutterings to keep me sane. Whatever is left of me that's sane.

Well. People leaving, people coming. What is the proper mask to put on? Mask of despair? Mask of relief? Mask of pain? Mask of encouragement? What should i put on? I can't just give that blank face can i?

And in response.
If there's nothing under your mask, then you are hollow, you've become your mask. Like me. :) If you have several masks, you can even be different. Accommodate to more ppl.

Light on

2009-03-26T01:41:00.000-07:00

Read into this song. Found out it really has some nice meanings to it. Although it might not be how he wanted it to be like, but it's my interpretation. So yeah. I think... EHh, don't feel like typing. Signing out. Remember to leave the light on. But switch it off during earth hour! Hahaha...

David Cook - “Light On” Lyrics

Never really said too much
Afraid it wouldn’t be enough
Just try to keep my spirits up
When there’s no point in grieving
Doesn’t matter anyway
Words could never make me stay
Words will never take my place
When you know I’m leaving

(Chorus)
Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Something I rely on to get home
One I can feel at night
A naked light, a fire to keep me warm
Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Even in the daylight, shine on
And when it’s late at night you can look inside
You won’t feel so alone

You know we’ve been down that road
What seems a thousand times before
My back to a closing door and my eyes to the seasons
That roll out underneath my heels
And you don’t know how bad it feels
To leave the only one that I have ever believed in

[Chorus]

Sometimes it feels like we’ve run out of luck
When the signal keeps on breaking up
When the wires cross in my brain
You’ll start my heart again
When I come along

[Chorus]

Help.

2009-03-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

I'm afraid of where i'm going.
I've got no dream.
Nothing to work for...
People have something they strive for... But me?

*Nothing*

Sigh... Do i have anything to work for? Anything to aim for?
Like some people want to be lawyers, doctors, SCHOLARS! Me? I don't know!
Sigh... I need a dream. Something that i can push myself to get... Something that I would be able to remind myself of every time i slack off... I WANT TO BE A... WHAT?! What comes after that?!

Others... I know... They work for love. Well... Love for someone... Parents, siblings, partners... I wish i could do that too... But i don't know why... I can't... I can't love them... Maybe i'm going about it wrong... I can't LOVE!

Love to me is the greatest feeling that i'll ever feel... Maybe i'm putting too much faith in love but that's what i think it is... Right now... All i feel for almost everyone is just thankfulness... I'm thankful for my parents, my siblings, my friends... But though i thought i did feel love once... That feeling was ripped away... So i've got nothing to work on..

Some of you might even be thinking (Wow. Yeah. You thinking!), (Sorry, a lil` bitchy right now), why not work for the future, for the future that you'll need, the future of the one you're going to love! Work for the future of your own LIFE! But right now. I don't know why i'm even living. What do we live for. What for? Just to keep yourselves alive? Just to make others feel better? Just to wait for the future? No! I don't even KNOW why I WANT TO LIVE! If living in this life, in this world, is called living. I don't think i want to live. But what wouldn't it be a waste if i just died? Wouldn't everything everyone has done since the day i was born be wasted? Everyone would still have been alive, maybe with different lives, but still alive. What would have changed? Yeah, maybe my sisters would be doing better, my family richer without me sucking up the money. Maybe my friends would have done better, without me pulling them down, maybe others will have other best friends, but they'll surely HAVE someone, even if it wasn't me. Maybe better people would have been in the JC which i'm in instead of me wasting a slot in this JC.

I just don't know how i've done anything in this life worth credit. I'm afraid i probably won't do anything worth credit in the future either. I don't know what i'll do... I need someone, something... To keep me going... If not. I don't even know what i'm doing in life. THAT'S why i'm wasting my life. Someone. Anyone. Save me. But I don't think anyone can. Coz... I'm just too good at convincing that what everyone says is false. Say that i'm just making it up myself. That i'm just doing it to myself. YES I AM! BUT HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO STOP IT!

Ohhh~ Think positive thoughts. You CAN DO IT! You were there when i needed you. You changed my life. You are doing this to yourself, stop it yourself.
Think positive thoughts, yeahhh, and where ARE those positive thoughts that i need, huh? WHAT is SO POSITIVE? I can do it? Heh. How? How do i pull through? HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THIS GODDAMN HOLE THAT I HAVE DUG FOR MYSELF? I was there when you needed me. So? If i wasn't there, someone else would have been... If i wasn't here, someone else would just take over my place. I'm that replaceable, no? I'm irreplaceable you say? HAH! Ask the LAST person who said that to me. I got replaced so easily i took only a few months to find a new me! WOW! Next, I changed your life? Same argument as the last, if i didn't change it someone else would have. And how many have i changed for the worse and how many for the better? Have i done more harm than good? How would anyone know? I'm doing this to myself? Yes i am. Stop it myself? How? YOU TELL ME! Stop thinking? Stop dwelling on the past? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WHEN IT KEEPS POPPING UP IN MY HEAD? EVEN when i make a conscious effort to stop it, isn't that still thinking about it? If i don't think about it, it'll still come so WHAT am i supposed to do?!

Again. If anyone knows how to help this deranged F***ed up little bugger. Just help him. But even if he smiles and accepts your consolations. Rest at ease because you KNOW he's just going to make it all backfire, EVEN if he doesn't want to. So sorry.

The story

2009-03-18T20:14:00.000-07:00

Long time ago, in a faraway place the prince of Tempanice, Nersirus, was sleeping silently. He dreamt about fights, he dreamt about wars, and above all else he dreamt about love. His best friend Loki had always hung out with him until Loki recently started going out with one of the younger bards.
However, Nersirus did not feel jealousy as he had never known love, never felt the need to love, but on her birthday, Madeline, his sister invited him to her ball, telling him that there was someone that might interest him.
He laughed it off but dressed his best nonetheless, and went to the ball. When the prince walked in, several of Madeline’s friends were already dancing, but only one caught his eye. He fell in love with her instantly, the princess from the neighbouring kingdom of Pasuories, Wilona. She was coveted by many a man, but he talked to her casually, introducing himself as the prince. They had a dance, they talked and they laughed. He couldn’t express how he felt for her, so he hid his feelings, but loved her deeply nonetheless.
The day had to end, but the prince couldn’t confess, but he sent many letters to the fair princess. She replied with an equal force of letters, both killing many pigeons through exhaustion. This continued for a few years, they met occasionally and he was always the gentleman, but that might have very well cursed him.
Scouts warned the kingdoms about an incoming army of the Slevelo barbarians. War waged between the kingdoms and the attacking Slevelo, the war was short but brutal, and its effects were great. Many people fell in the great war of Slevelo.
One of the kingdoms was the princess’, it did not survive the war. It was overrun by the barbarians and the kingdom was called Turmahsik. Loki was in the kingdom at the time and was then stuck in the ASS of Turmahsik.
The prince’s kingdom, though it survived the war, was facing many difficulties and the prince could not cope with the many needs of his kingdom. Many disasters befell onto the once great kingdom, swarms of stress destroyed his crops, procrastination plagued his land and his own court did not trust him. Those terrible times were called the Naidirem Roinuj Egelloc, directly translated meaning the Times of the Lifeless Living.
However, the prince continued to talk to the princess in secret, dodging between the barbarians, just to see her face. Each time they met, they got closer and closer. Each time they met, he felt his worries slip away, just being with her healed him. On one of those visits, he confessed his love to her, they were in love. They walked together and talked, but every good thing had to come to an end.
He went back to his kingdom and during the time he was away, the princess was taken by the barbarians and for several weeks, he could not contact her. He could not reach her. He kept sending messages to the princess but she did not want to see him. Not long after, she met up again with him, saying that she wanted to go separate ways, he saw it coming, and he just nodded and smiled when she talked. After she left, he cried, he hadn’t known such pain, he had never known such grief...
She left the prince. In less than a year, the princess hooked up with one of the left handed barbarian men.

Now the prince was heartbroken and lost, his kingdom went into ruins. He didn’t do anything to save his kingdom from destruction, all he felt was grief, pain, sorrow... He sought love during those dark times but found none. He lifelessly went on with life, struggling to rebuild his kingdom to its former glory.
He was at another one of his meetings when he started to notice a girl in his court. She was smart and beautiful, but he could not understand her. He did not know what she felt. He flirted with her, she flirted back. But there was no passion, she never started a conversation with him, and she was often seen talking to many other men in court. He didn’t know what she was thinking, and frankly it didn’t really bother him.
Their feeling of mutual attraction was present, but the prince could not see anything further. But she could not capture his heart like how the princess did.
Perhaps it was because his heart was already gone.

The lonely prince continued to fall into darkness as his heart slowly froze and his feelings slowly numbed. No longer caring. No longer the carefree prince sleeping in the summer.

What should the prince do?
(a) Wait to see if the princess will come back to him?
(b) Go after the lady in the court, p.s. She has nice boobs(LOL).
(c) Continue to lifelessly build his kingdom to prepare for the next attack,
p.s. Scouts say that they’ll arrive at the end of the year.
(d) Kill himself to escape the pains of life and love.

Others: -Madeline survived the attack and is now together with a guy named Amy. (Weird name for a guy eh?) –Loki continued his relationship with the younger bard, but she couldn’t stand him and said that she needed some time alone, then after some time, they got together again.

Sell my body,

2009-03-15T07:44:00.001-07:00

Me getting desperate. (NOT SERIOUS!!), but y'know you can take it seriously if you want.)
Job application maybe.

Applicants must know me personally, or at least talked to me before.
Job requirements: Female, average looks, needs to be at least smarter than others, witty, patient enough to wake me up, able to sit with me and get me to do my work, able to take initiative, can take the lead, must have actual interest in me.

About me: Very sad right now, I'll probably get very high once together with someone or thinking of someone. Likes contact(holding hands, hugs, etc, etc.) Don't mind just sitting together in silence. Just tell me anything you're unhappy with and I WILL do anything in my power to help you (Even if not in my power, i'll get it done just for you), will be romantic on those special occasions, will always be there when needed but sometimes even when not, i cook and bake, and i'm looking for the ONE. So applicants will be judged according to feeling.

Oh well. I dunno but hey drop me a tag or something if interested. hahaa... But seriously, i'm NOT serious. :)

STyle STeal!

2009-03-08T03:21:00.000-07:00

I'm an emo boy, in a dark dark world.
No emotions, dark sensations.
I can cut my wrists, blood spilling everywhere...
Hurt myself to, make myself cool.

*Sing to I'm a barbie girl tune*

Hahaha... Cool..
But hey i'm seriously out of my mind nowadays. Can't stop thinking of girls. The new girl in my tuition is seriously... Woo~ I like her voice too. Ahh~ HAhahaa... But seriously? I don't think so... I don't feel anything romantically... Just oh cute girl. I'll smack that. But nothing. Nada. No feelings. Sigh. Maybe if i just went ahead started flirting around? Nahh... Mich will KILL me. No she won't. I will KILL ME! Hahaa... And i start kicking my own ass. Zzzz...

Lets go and steal Looloo's blogging technique. *ahem*

Darwin's Theory of evolution,
Every organism already has a set number of types of alleles.
If they have a brown and blonde hair. and all the blondes are wiped off the earth.
There will never be a blonde hair girl. Ever.
But in Lamarckian theory, we evolve to adapt. So a person who is born with certain characteristics can adapt and get different characteristics. Or maybe new ones. So new alleles are formed.
I was thinking. If the Lamarckian theory of evolution held true. wouldn't one be able to change yourself to become better. Become smarter. Everything. Well the trouble with that is that it might incur an opportunity cost in time. Because if you spend more time becoming stronger. You will have to sacrifice the time needed for studying. And so on and so forth. But in Darwin's theory, your limits are already set for you. You can't escape your IQ level, you can't escape your looks, how strong you are is already limited. Sigh. Thinking out of point. And it's also the wrong concept. So sad. I think i better refine my argument better.

FAIL!

I can't copy Looloo's style. It's too different! NOOOO.
Hahaahaa...

2009-02-24T07:46:00.000-08:00

Hey hey,
Tomorrow's Chem SPA and I'm still online. Cause I just wanna piss ppl off now. Yeah. Right. Found someone who's fun to be with. I think I'm starting to like her. Nowhere near what i used to feel last time though. So why do i feel bothered? I think I'm afraid that she would like me and i won't be able help myself.. The desperado that I've become... Sigh... I bet I won't be helping anyone anytime soon... I can't even help myself... What should i do? Stay as a friend, no matter what happens? Or use this as an opportunity to move on, even though I know that I won't be serious with her... Sigh..

I'm frustrated. My mom's on my back and I'm trying to block her out. What have i become? I guess it's hormones and stuff. But why am i so horrible to my parents? Sigh... Now all i can hear in my head is...

FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF...

But I also hear myself going...

Listen to what she's got to say. Don't make her angry. She has enough troubles.

ARGHHH. Dammit, I'm one screwed up bugger eh? I don't even know myself. What should i do? I guess i'll go out to apologize. Then I'll go off. I just can't bring myself to hurt others. Sigh.

Hey, but seriously? I'm seriously screwed up. I can't think straight nowadays. Minds a blank where ever i go. And all that.

Another time another place. Another life another face.

Friends forever. Painful memories.

2009-02-22T05:38:00.000-08:00

God friggin' DAMMIT!
My heart is supposed to be frickin' frozen!
Why does it still F~ing hurt so much?!
Why are you still there?
Why am i still so happy around you?
Discipline. Patience. And i don't give a damn.
Right now, i need to NOT give a damn. Don't care.
Get everything out of my tanned uncaring face.

Heh, well, I guess freezing my heart is difficult if you still care about so many ppl. And i can't exactly help my meis if i freeze my heart. So i guess I'll just bear the pain. Just like how i smiled as she broke my heart. And how i continued smiling while my heart was being stabbed by millions of swords. Whatever. WHATEVER! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! I'm in so much pain but i just don't show. I don't care who reads this but i just want you to know that i won't acknowledge anything. I'll just put on my mask and go to school. Be my normal self. Feel the shards of glass being driven in and out while i can't stop thinking of what happened. WHATEVER!!!

You made my life so bright,
made me feel so light,
I thought you were my life,
not someone else's wife.

When you called me that day,
I knew what you'll say,
I could tell in your voice,
you already made your choice.

I enjoyed it when it was joyful,
never thought it was so painful,
to be haunted by your smile,
I considered suicide for awhile.

But i got used to the pain,
though it was hard to maintain,
the many masks that i put on,
so people won't know that i was gone.

I'll hope to forget eventually,
even if i wait for eternity,
but I doubt I'll be able to forget,
those times we were happy or upset.

Hey, I'll always remember you but I'll look forward. You've moved on and you're happy. So I'll stop bothering you with all the things I've done, and would have done. Nevertheless, being with you were one of the best days of my life. I wish you all the best for everything you do. And just know that I'll be there by your side if you ever need a helping hand. Stay fun and stay beautiful.

Valentines day coming

2009-02-12T07:08:00.000-08:00

Hey people,
I've baked some chocolate chip cookies!!
I just wish i didn't like them so much so i won't feel so sad giving them away... Hahhaa... Anyway, Valentine's day is coming. I don't have any plans. I'm not going to do anything this year... Just stay home and maybe do some work... I might bring my girlfriend out for a ride tho.. ;P Hahaha.. Yeaah Right... Anyway, i just remembered this band called Big Bang and i listened to their song again, Haru Haru 2. It's actually the same as Haru Haru but just different MV i guess.. Hahhaha...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhk-X9BEnDo

Well that's the link.
And i'm like all emo again ehh... Saddened. No need to worry about me, i'll just try to get through JC then see what happens next. Heh, and congrats to Joseph for first prize in the poetry thing... I'm glad i didn't submit anything. :)

Well, if any girl is expecting anything from me on valentine's i guess you can forget it. I'm locking myself up and will not partake in this event.

English Translation of the song. Enjoy!

Leave
Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me. Ah ah ah ah~

[G.Dragon + TOP]
My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind My heart vanished like smoke
It can’t be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind
(say goodbye)

[G.Dragon Rap]
Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought
You don’t answer anything as I cry out “I miss you”
I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless

[TOP Rap]
What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can’t get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times
[Chorus]
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)
Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye…

[Seung Ri + Dae Sung]
If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn’t see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly
[G.Dragon]
Always be happy with him, (so) I won’t ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won’t be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous
[TOP]
You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened

[Chorus]
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)

[Dae Sung + Seing Ri]
I hope your heart fees relieved
Please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely
[Tae Yang]
As time passes by
It would’ve hurt less if we didn’t meet at all (mm)
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you

[Chorus]
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)

Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don’t lie, lie
You’re my heart, say goodbye

Nicholo-phile

2009-02-10T03:58:00.000-08:00

You've heard of nucleophiles and electrophiles...
In lecture today, i heard about this brand new substance... Called...
NICHOLO_PHILES!
They love Nicholas' of all types. Hahahhaa...

Well, i wouldn't want one of those, they'll be too sticky... But i'll just pass it on to the nest Nicholas... Hahaha

Random

2009-02-10T03:52:00.000-08:00

Hey hey...
Should i go do something stupid again?
No, no... Not for HER, but just something else...

I was thinking if I should just go up to this girl and ask her out on V day...
Hahahhaa, THAT would be so random... Well, i guess it's a bit sad, and bad...

Another thing... I'm not going to submit any poem... I guess I'm not up to it... I give you permission to use my poems and submit it under your own name. I don't care... Hahaha...

ANYWAY, I'll wish everyone all the best and go do something impulsive one of these days eh... I don't know what, but I'll do something... Wahahahhahahaa!

Updated...

2009-01-30T22:28:00.000-08:00

Hmmm, I shouldn't be so extra..
They say do 5 pull-ups, don't go and do 10...
And after that strain myself...
So weird, i can do pull-ups now, but i still can't do push-ups.
Well i can do them, but i suck at them...
Hey i should also start training my running...

Okay, i'm now listening to chinese songs...
WEIRD. The world is upside down...
And now they're just singing Ahh... AHHHHhhhh.. AhhhhhhhHhhhhHHhhHh!*high pitch and stuff...*
NOT in a weird way...

Well, i feel like running to school. Like training... I think it's a good distance. But i think running with a bag will look weird... Maybe if i carried a backpack? And i'll have to change and wake up earlier... Yeahh, well it'll be tough but i might be able to do it...

Oh, and i'm thinking of putting up a poem for the valentine's day competition thing. Yeahh, Michy's idea... But i guess i have to get a non-emo poem... I'll think of something... I need a topic...

'Happy' Chinese new year...

2009-01-22T06:57:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New year.
Not thinking of anything now.
Just Woo! Facebook.

Ugh... This is my life..
School, facebook, manga, Lifesaving, girls.

Life in 5 words...
This is just plain pathetic.

Frozen Heart

2009-01-18T07:47:00.000-08:00

My heart is frozen,
I guess it's finally reached that stage.
I found out some interesting news yesterday.
But i don't seem to react to it.
Isn't that weird? I should be jealous and stuff, but no...
I don't feel anything, i'm numb... Why? Why?
I guess this is better than the burning feeling.
This freezing over really helps... But i think there are some side effects to it. I haven't really discovered them but i know that i just can't seem to love anymore...
~frozen~

It hasn't set in.

2009-01-17T07:01:00.001-08:00

You know.
I kinda wonder how long it'll take for my brain to register... Or have i really frozen my heart already? Is that why i just accept it? Hmmm, well who cares.
Oh, just for your information, in case you didn't know...
I AM NOT SUICIDAL DAMMIT. Well, i think i'm not. Hmmm, maybe i am... Heeheehee...
But seriously? I'm just going to have to get through this year of 'A' levels, and stop reading so much friggin' manga. What have i become? I read onemanga too much!! OH NOES!
Hahaahaa... But oh oh oh... Yeaahh, I'm like y'know so happy about the number of hours i've clocked for CIP y'know. like i got like 218 hours just for one REACH program yo. I like go every week and i like totally love it yo. HAhahaa... But i just love the hours i got for the 4Day3Nights camp. It totalled to like 78hours yo!! Hahahahaa!! Wooo!! Loving the REACH!!
Anywaays, i'm totally aching all over from the physical training in the gym. Should go to the gym more often, can totally feel my moobs now. Bigger MOOBS!! And i have to train my legs for the Newton Run, and then tmr i need to train for the Bronze Cross in open sea, Ooo, gonna be fun gonna be fun.. Oh and train for the upcoming swimming competitions, and train for NAPFA!! Ahhhhh!! Okaay, no more relaxed training. Time to go all out! *Bump up!*(AirGear reference) Ahhh, nope, no help... Okay, train the legs for 2.4 and Newton Run. Train the arms for the swimming competitions and Bronze Cross.
Hey i've become SO much more tan as compared to last time! And more muscular! Haha..
And i've got contact lens!! Woohoo!! Brand new Nicholas who still looks the same! Sigh... Why me.. HAhaaa...
And nope, it still hasn't set in yet... Hmmm...

Poem 2

2009-01-11T07:39:00.001-08:00

This feeling is of pain,
It does not go away,
Even if i tried in vain,
It's still with me every day

The feeling has gone,
I'll stay away,
I have been reborn,
I've kept my heart at bay.

The feeling is still there,
No matter how i try,
I'll just try not to care,
And I'll just try not to cry.

The feeling will be frozen,
No more shall i think of you,
As time continues unbroken,
I will continue being the fool.

-Nicholas Goh

School's starting

2009-01-11T07:14:00.001-08:00

Yo mah homedawgs.
Wassup wassuuup...
I've got a few thangs i wanna say before school starts yo!

1. I'm going to make it this year. I'm afraid i might not have the will or the power to do that but i'm going to do my best.

2. I've changed a lot the past year. I know i'm not the guy i used to be. In the past, i wouldn't have to worry about school. I would have breezed past, but last year something changed in me. I didn't have my confidence, i lost my will, i went out of control. This year is going to change.

3. I HAVE GOT TO STOP FARTING DAMMIT.

4. I won't get in a relationship till after 'A' levels. This would be the same as the 'O' level deal where i would not get a girlfriend till the end of the exams. Yes, it'll be tougher this time.

5. I'll try not to be misunderstood, speak up, try to talk to my class more.

6. I will ask for help in my work if i can't do it. Really, i can't keep holding back. If i can't do it, i need to ask. Why'd i ask for help if i can't even approach them?

7. I'll spend every day more carefully. I am going to have to stop with my manga. AHHHH... Lets see, no more new mangas. No mangas until i've finished my back flow of work... AHHH, this is gonna be tough.

8. No complaining about this list. Maybe i'll be a bit lax on number 3.

Signed,
Nicholas Goh

Ehhh.
Okay now i something else. I rmb last time when i was at a chalet and my LooLoo was quarreling with his girlfriend, and I started getting very irritated, a feeling of unhappiness. I knew the reason why. They had a relationship, a nice one going, they should treasure what they had, not go starting a fight about every little thing. They had someone they could rely on, someone they could give their heart to someone to love. They should keep that close, i can't rmb it clearly, but i think i either wanted to shout at them or i did. They had something i wanted, something i was jealous of, so they should be happy with what they have.
But... This year, i really changed, they had another fight. When i found out, i didn't feel the unhappiness, i felt this light feeling. I thought oh, he's suffering, so what, everyone should know how it feels like. I felt cruel, i was selfish, i was not ME. I recalled these two incidents and realised that i need to go back to the person i used to be. The one who cared for ppl, not only for himself. I had to forget the pain, the happiness, the love, the disappointment, i have to forget all that, and i'm going to change back to the person i used to be.

Happy Boxing Day!

2008-12-26T05:30:00.000-08:00

Hey,
I didn't post on Christmas, so i'll just make it up by posting on Boxing day!
Anyway, i feel like a Skinny young St. Nicholas! Haha, patron of children, sailors, fishermen, merchants, the falsely accused, pawnbrokers, prostitutes, repentant thieves, many cities.. Thank you Wiki for being a great source of info.. Haha... But he probably most well known as Santa Claus, or Sinterklaas. So why do i say that? Who else would go around delivering presents to people? Oh and many thanks Rudolf (LooLoo) for leading the sleigh! Riding around Pasir Ris in my Santa hat, i delivered my presents to peoples houses, spreading joy and good cheer to anyone i passed by, actually, most people just gave me weird looks, but an uncle waved back and smiled, very fun, very fun...

But on to the emo part, what is a blog post without an emo part?

Well, why'd i say anything? I just hope i didn't make anything worse...
But really, it's true what i said... Your gift won't cost anything, it shouldn't. You know what i want most, you know what i wish for. You don't have to give me anything else... Anything else will just cause more pain, so, if you want to grant a wish (and save money at the same time!)...

Wishlist:
Only you...

Is it that simple?

2008-12-14T06:09:00.000-08:00

Is it that simple?

Staring into space, he wonders,
Till what end will he endure,
Indescribable pain that he now feels,
Lonely in this painful world,
Losing what he once had in his arms.

Lying to himself all the time,
Only to feel the hold on his heart,
Vice-like hold on his heart
Every time he just thinks of her.

Yes, it'll be so for now,
Overestimating my endurance,
Underestimating the pain.

-Nicholas Goh

Change

2008-11-27T02:52:00.000-08:00

Everyone changes...
We change our minds, we change our appearances... We change our very surroundings...
This is the way we are... People don't stay the same, we are influenced easily by others and we easily influence others, maybe even without realizing it ourselves.
For me, i believe i change a lot. I change every time i meet someone new. I know i have changed a lot day to day, one day i can be on top of the world, with power to do what i want... The next day i can just sit and mope and just rot away... I change from day to day, from person to person. I can act one way in front of some people and be a completely different person to another... I have so many personalities i think i'm going crazy, i just can't be one person coz i know everyone expects different things from me...
But my biggest problem is changing myself... I don't know how to change my mind, it changes itself. It might not make sense but i'm a prisoner to change. I just can't stop the world, i can't stop anything. If i did, there would be no meaning right? Everyone unchanging? Hmmph, no everyone changes, from lover to friend, from friends to strangers, from family to dirt. I can't bring myself to affect this change. Just to wait for a time when i feel like changing the world.

I don't think many people will understand what i'm saying, i just ramble.. Ramble on and on... This is what you get when you clear your mind for a whole day and start thinking in bursts of thoughts. I don't really understand where this is coming from anyway... Well cya.

Take a drink

2008-11-15T17:50:00.000-08:00

Just updating a little bit, and i did this funny quiz using song titles!
I LOVE IT! hahaha, has such accurate results! Wouldn't have believed i got this until i actually tried it myself.. I swear. No tempering of answers...

RULES:
1. Put Your itunes, windows media player, MP3player, etc on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3.YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4.Put any comments in brackets after the song name

Are you male or female?
Ace of spades (I have NO idea)

Describe yourself!
Church of hot addiction ( Uh huuhh, I LIKE that..)

What do people feel when they're around you?
New Age Girl (Wow, really?)

Describe your current relationship.
Don’t wanna miss a thing (awww...)

Where would you like to be now?
Jenny (I wanna be WITH her!! Hahaha)

How do you feel about love?
Truly Madly Deeply (So true...)

What's your life like?
Hero, spiderman OST (Wow, POWER!)

What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
If i could be like that (Be like what?)

Say something wise.
Losing my religion (Not very wise though)

If someone says "is this okay?" you say...
Your Story, My Alibis (I don’t get what i’m saying either...)

What do you like in a guy/girl?
You’ll be in my heart ( I’d like to be in your heart too)

How do you feel today?
Viva La Vida (ALL RIGHT! DAMN COOL!)

What is your life's purpose?
Won’t go home without you ( So i won’t go home without you...)
What is your motto?
I’m going home (TO SLEEP!!)

What do you think of your parents?
I just wanna live (YEAHH!)

What do you think about very often?
Symphony of destruction (Errr, no i’m not so destructive..)

What is 2 + 2?
Risque (Is there a song called 4?)

What do you think of your best friend?
Superman Kryptonite (Wow, He’s power!)

What do you think of the person you like?
Come what may (I will love you, till the end of time! Love the song!)

What is your life story?
The big bang theory (I’ll come with a bang and no one knows how i’ll go!)

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Cao Cao (Woah... Fierce)

What will you dance to at your wedding?
I knew i loved you (Hahaha, Maybe, maybe)

What will they play at your funeral?
Remember me this way (A real tear jerker...)

What is your hobby/interest?
Your body is a wonderland (Wahahahahah, discovering me discovering you!)

What is your biggest fear?
Jaded (Fear of being jaded??)

What is your biggest secret?
Here without you (Uh huh, don’t tell anyone...)

What do you think of your friends?
Indestructible (Cool, they’re indestructible!)

What will you post this as?
Take a drink (Okay!)

Haha, try it it's fun!

A promise broken real fast..

2008-11-11T03:02:00.000-08:00

I know i promised that that would be my last emo post but i don't think i'll be able to keep that promise..
Do any of you know the feeling like you want to just say FUCK YOU and do something impulsive? Especially in front of your parents... I do.. I've never scolded any vulgarities in front of my parents before... But i've been thinking of them a lot. Just this afternoon, i had this killer headache, since yesterday.. My mom? Didn't care, continue with your Chemistry, you missed one whole day yesterday! Yeah, she was so much better yesterday, at least she told me to find some panadol in the fridge.. Now she asks me why i've not finished packing my stuff, i pack and pack, she comes in and comments like she knows everything... Most of the time with me thinking the same thing... Whether i should just jump out the window to see how she reacts. I know, stupid, cruel, but i'm just so burnt i don't care. my temperature's fine but the Friggin' headache just won't go!
*Sorry sorry, i won't really do any of that. But it's just the FEELING!! Gah*
Oh, i've been thinking i should get rid of the necklaces one of these days... Just find the time to get rid of them... Go to the beach and chuck them into the sea... Nice dramatic finish eh... Okay okay, i'll find the time to finish the story, but now i need to do my chem tys, doing doing... Grrrr...

One saturday

2008-11-08T06:28:00.000-08:00

OkaY!
Hey, today has been an interesting day with my family...

Well, not at first..
In the morning i went swimming at the tampines Swimming Complex, for personal training.. Well, it was mostly to get rid of the aches on my legs so i don't keep limping around... *Somehow, swim training helps* It's not as intense as normal day training, but it helps me to catch up with the faster swimmers, i've been struggling with front crawl for too long. Saw these two cute gals, one in a white two piece, and the other one wearing a purple striped one... GOD, they were cute, but but but... I kinda only processed it when i finished swimming.. hahaha..

After that went back home tried to do somemore Chemistry TYS, I SUCK AT CHEMICAL BONDING!! I'VE BEEN STUCK THERE SINCE GOD KNOWS WHEN! So, i'm just gonna skip to Gases first... Uhm hm..

Lunch... Was... somewhere and something...

After that is the fun part...
MY FAMILY WENT ON THE Singapore Flyer!!
Okay, you might say... So what?
I was actually not really expecting it... Coz we only bought the tickets for our parents to go up there for some alone time... But my dad bought more tickets so we could all go up! Well, at first i wasn't really excited or anything coz i thought.. Oh, a big ferris wheel... How nice could it be? But actually, it was kind of a fun experience..
Well, many things are quite fun when you have two crazy sisters and two sort of buut not really parents... Haha... I don't really go crazy unless we're in the car alone or we're home alone, so i was kinda tame in the Flyer.. Well, my sis was trying to fly since she was on the flyer.. Yeah, lame, but we're family, so we kinda help lame each other to death that way...
The Flyer was kinda fun on the whole. Better than i expected really...

EE for the Flyer. *Exceeding Expectations for those who don't know.

Anyway, after the Flyer, we went to an ala carte Japanese buffet at Hanabi, REALLY stuffed... I ate and ate and ate... Sashimi, Sushi, Makimoto, handroll, tempura, chawamushi, udon, err, croquette, too much stuff, i can't remember... When i can eat, i REALLY eat... Hahaha, that was one of the most hilarious buffet dinners i've had... oKay, hilarious and potentially embarassing...
Okay, the story goes that there was this cute waitress around my age, she kept serving and since we could order as much as we want, she took some of our orders... And oh, the waiters and waitresses are random, they just serve whoever they see... The cute waitress took our orders and went by, and she smiled at me, then walked away. I looked at my sister and raised an eyebrow, JUST as a joke... I wasn't interested! And that started the wildfire, My father even threatened me by saying that he'd try to get her number for me the next time she walks by.. AND he WILL do that! I was getting very embarrassed, SO PISSED!!Gahh, But i laughed with them... Sigh, i agreed to their conditiona to do my work later at night and there, i have to go, i'll finish up later.. Post it tomorrow..

CYA!

To Be Continued...

One last EMO post

2008-11-06T19:01:00.000-08:00

Well, i can’t say it won’t hurt. It has already hurt too much, all this time i’ve been holding on... Just hanging onto the false hope, my grip loosening by the day, but yet i held strong, my body filled with pain, yet i held on... I guess i can let go and fall now, the anger, the desperation, they were all hanging there with me... I’ve let all of them go, now i’ll let myself fall before i try to catch another line, but, i need to rest, the pain for this past year has taken its toll on me and some of the pain still lingers... No matter what, i have always placed your choices before mine, and i shall also respect your wishes, we’ll be friends.

Now i'm gonna have some fun! I wish, with Chem, nothing much is fun... Hahaha...

Update.

2008-10-10T08:18:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
I'm sorry if i've not updated for so long.
I'm also sorry this is another sad post.
I've just not had a good day for so long...
And i didn't want to depress you guys with more sad news.
I'll update when i have a good day, OR if i recall someday that was fun...

I guess yesterday was kinda fun...
Went over to Daryl's house, had dinner, played PS3, had loads of fun singing karaoke, then i thought of going to poly again... Coz Daryl invited his poly friends down too...
They were great fun, Shane was crazy singing like that.. Hahaha. Trish and dot? Are those their names? I've forgotten... They were great too... And there was LOTS of food, ate so much that i pretty much covered up the abs that i've been trying to build for so long... Haha...

Anyone wanna go out soon? I'm free so why not? I'm pretty lonely nowadays so i'll welcome any company i can get... But there ARE times that i just go zombie, in the words of Bella, haha, i'm reading the Twilight series... YES, i know... Girl book. Romance novel. Blah blah. But it's a nice book, can't i read nice books too? And I AM NOT GAY! NEITHER AM I BI- goddammit... Tsk. But i feel kinda like Bella after Edward left her in New Moon. Zombified, but instead of filling myself with studying, i kinda fill myself with more pain, trying to recreate the joy, instead of keeping the pain away, i keep trying to remember the past, the dreamlike past. So much like a dream i have to keep telling myself that it happened, but now i wonder why i do that. I should just try to keep it as a dream, as a dream i remember everyday. One that is so difficult to forget.

SEE? I knew i'll go all emo on all of you guys again... Tsk.. Heh... Anyway, What i'm doing now? -Reading Twilight series (Already second book on the third day of starting) -Facebooking (More like facebook applicationing) -Trying to fill the hole in my heart, but it has become too substrate specific... But i hope someday i'll find an inhibitor that would be able to fit in too, no matter how temporarily... Or maybe change the shape of my heart so it won't react...

Hahaha, bio terms... And hey hey, i'll try to cheer up, just DO NOT ask me for my promo results if i say DON'T ASK. I mean it...

Cya for another year of JC1... Heh heh...
Peace sign, index DOWN... Nicholas OUT...

Gah! Dammit!

2008-08-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

Words, are, worthless.
Actions, are, difficult.
Feelings, are, incomprehensible.

What the Heck am i talking about?
I dunno...
Yet, i know...

I have not been a happy man recently...
Fake smiles, fake laughs, tired all the time.
I heard depression can make one feel lerthargic.

I dunno why i can't feel happy, my classmates are kinda nice. I guess...
I have many friends. I guess...
It is better to have loved than to never have loved before. I guess...

Life's a Bitch,
Life should be enjoyed fully,
Enjoy your bitch fully!

The class is noisy,
so the class should have understood already,
Noisier = greater understanding.

I'm okay being just friends,
But i can't stand being just friends,
I can't forget...

When i'm near you i smile,
i see your hands and see mine in them,
then i pop out of my dream and frown.

But i cover my frown,
and turn it upside down,
So i can hide my unhappiness within myself.

When i frown upside down,
I can't help but feel my stomach go inside out,
Never have i had to hide my frown so much before.

Maybe cause i never frowned so much before,
why am i so unhappy now?
Do i really think too much?

Sometime ago I smiled a lot,
then i started thinking,
it was worth a shot.

I thought and i thought,
I would look better with bigger muscles,
And I trained and it was worth the shot.

Once again, i thought a bit more,
it would be nice to help out,
and I REACHed out and it was worth the shot.

Finally, i thought,
I think i want to be loved,
I loved and thought i was loved and it was worth the shot.

So i look back,
and think to myself,
was it really better to think?

Life without the F is just a lie,
So what the F are you doing,
Stop lying around and get the F up.

p.s. This is not a poem, i just thought it would be nice to do the whole thing in three line paragraphs, although i think the last few parts are kinda poetic...

Goodbye,
Nick

A Curse by the gods, workloads from leader and a ruined teppenyaki.

2008-08-16T23:25:00.000-07:00

I love you,
do you love me.
It's my birthday,
Yipee yai yee.
So give me a hug,
or just let me see you.
Then tomorrow, i won't bug you.
(To the tune of barney song)

Hehh hehh hehh...

Welll today was the F-ing worst birthday i've had in my life...

Wake up- Feel F-ing tired, forgot it was my birthday.Parents unplugged my laptop only to pass it back to me during breakfast saying happy birthday.
Best birthday gift ever on the worst birthday. How ironic... Found out the unplugging had caused some of my work to screw up. Didn't tell parents, didn't want them to feel bad...

Shower-Change-Decided not to go for training so that i finish up the survey

Stayed at home to do the stuff, but fell asleep. Wasted so much time, woke up pissed at myself again.

Finished the survey, mother nagging about how my room's so messy. But yeah, it is. I walk out and trip over vacuum cleaner hose thingy, and i get "tsk"ed for being careless... I'm like What the H***...
Later, i start on my mee sua (Is that how you spel it?), and feel better. (Thx mommy!)
Okay, went down to meet them at MJ, my bike's brake is spoilt, can only use left brake. (Which i rarely use). Get to school, wonder around call Nigel, he says he's at McCafe with the rest of them.
Opps, wrong place. I get my bike, lock is jammed and have to whack it open. I get it open and smile to myself. Cycle a little bit, on the way to white sand. It starts raining, take umbrella out and start feeling the slight irritation.
Cycle in the rain, have to protect the laptop i brought along to do the project. Cycle cycle, F*** it! The F***ing chain came out of the F***ing gear! So, halfway from MJ, i have to F***ing carry it down the F*** long stretch of road while carrying the F***ing umbrella to protect my precious laptop.
I get to the junction near whitesands and F*** no! The F***ing rain was getting lighter. No Sh*t! I get to white sands, the rain F***ing stopped! WHAT THE F***!!!
OkAY! Never mind, first things first, finish the Written report then do whatever you want. I go into White sands, walk around McCafe and look for my group members, i see some school mates, i smile and wave, i look away and frown. WHERE THE F*** ARE THEY?! I call him again, they're at McCafe what...
Hmmm, which one? The one at Downtown East lah... FUCK NO!No FUCKIN' HELL! I decide i'm not gonna fucking cycle anymore, so i take the bus down to downtown, but why the HELL did it have to be THAT mcCafe? Yes, i still think about that day in McCafe with her. When i got there, i look around and finally see them. Three laptops on a McTable, now, with mine, that's four.
What was it? A McOffice? I check my bag and realize, GAH! I didn't bring the F***ing charger. So i had about 2hours more to do work, which was not much...I went to get something to drink, and the first good thing happened to me in that McCafe, well maybe that McCafe wasn't so bad after all. You know the Caramel Frappe i always drink from McCafe? I was able to get it for free. There's this card you see, and you can show it to the cashier on your birthday to redeem a free large coffee or a regular coffee.
But the nice part was when they delivered it to me, the waitress passed it to me with a plastic straw heart and a slip of paper, which wrote, "Smile, it's your birthday!:)" I loved that, but why didn't she add her number? hahaha...
So that was the only good thing that happened in the afternoon, but it cheered me up a lot. After that, i had to do the WR that i didn't finish, so birthday used to do pw... Using the new laptop no less... Sigh... Everyone just sat there quietly typing, swapping charger times... Me moping over my lost birthday.
After that- Went home to finish up the WR coz i forgot to bring my laptop charger... Then went home, tied to type out stuff... And didn't finish it in time coz i had to go out for birthday dinner. Lucky i didn't go for buffet, but instead, went to Sakae teppenyaki to eat the beef set. I just like the Foie Gras! I WUV THE GOOSE LIVER! It was the main highlight of the day!! Eat eat eat, then PW leader reminds me to send the report in by 11.00.
I check my watch, 9:55, i just started... Nooooo... So i ask my family if we could rush the dinner so i could finish the work and send it in before 11.00... Rushed teppenyaki is so sad... Not satisfactory at all... Then finish eating, rush back home(leaving sister with her bf, THX FOR THE WATCH!!). Postpone cake-cutting for the PW and sit in front of the laptop again.

In the end, no celebration, just a small cake, lots of work, and a sad ruined teppenyaki.

BUT!!! After i checked all my birthday greetings! I decided that the day wasn't so bad after all...

Thank you all of you who sent in your birthday greetings!
For all those who did not greet me happy birthday will have to celebrate my 364 other UN-birthdays!!

MUAHAHAHAHA!!

Well, there goes my birthday. I really don't think next year will be any better. 'A' levels eh...
But as Michelle says, enjoy life while you still can... Hmmm... Nice advise, very nice... How reassuring too...
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Kidding, kidding...
Okay okay... Back to my work...

After such a long time, I AM BACK!!

2008-08-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

Hey!
The Blag is fixed!(I know)
WOOHOO! I'm just gonna be here for a few updates...
Coz i've not updated for quite sometime...

1. NEW FRIGGIN' LAPTOP! (For my birthday)
Well, it's not bad... Heh heh heh... Er hem..

Lenovo 3000 Y410 Laptop Computer
Super light and extra powerful, the Lenovo 3000 Y410 laptop computer offers top performance at home, on the road, and in the office. This 5.2-pound laptop features a 1.66GHz Intel Core 2 Duo processor, integrated Intel graphics, a 160GB 5400RPM SATA HDD, 2GB of PC2-5300 memory, and a dual layer optical drive. The Lenovo 3000 Y410 laptop computer – it’s fast, portable, and loaded with special features that make it a great choice for multimedia applications.

AND! It has this COOL face recognition thing!

Haha... No picture of it though, too lazy... Go search it online... Heh..
That's all for the new laptop, let's go to other news...

In weather today, DARK clouds rolling into the sunny days cause rainbows to appear later in the day. Hahaha... MEANING... I'm feeling sad, unhappy, unsatisfied, but still hopeful and optimistic about what's going to come...

In action news, Nicholas goh took part in DRAGONBOATING for FunFestique, and helped get 1st in the 300m race in which he took part in... Yes, he has big muscles, all you have to do is ask for him to show it. He'll be shy, but keep pestering, he's just trying to be modest... Hahaha...

In world news, President Nicholas Goh of his own country gains new friends from other classes. However, continent 08S304 has broken up into many different alliances or "cliques". What would president Goh do to prevent further disputes among nearby friends?

In the business district, Goh's finances have been in steep decrease as tuition fees have shot up to an astronomical height. This could be due to the devastating grades in the middle of the year and the up and coming promotional exams. Expect money to be of the steady decrease over the next few months.

Now, education has taken a whole new meaning coz when Nicholas Goh is serious, you better get THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY. Coz you know he wouldn't want anything to distract him, for example, blogging, going on the internet, chatting with friends on MSN, reading webcomics on onemanga.com... Well, too bad he's not so serious yet. DAMN!

Also, from a tag from WeiQi,

"My Gender and 7 Things I Want in A Partner"
Gender:Male
1. Well, i'll be truthful and say it. I have a certain level for looks, she must be at least easy on the eyes. So i'll be happy even if she was average looking.
2. Must be smart enough to get my sarcasm, my jokes and my entertainment.
3. Be able to take my little quirks and oddities, like my weird little mind and sleep-talking, -walking, -climbing, -eating(Yes, sleep-eating).
4. Be able to satisfy expectations of parents,two sisters and cat.(The cat is the most important)
5. PLEASE NO F-ing vulgarities! Nothing is worse than seeing a girl screaming profanitities on the top of her voice. F-ing? It's like F-plasmid... Fertility, FERTILITY! Not whatever you're thinking...
6. Have some way of waking me up... Trust me, it's difficult.
7. Be able to make up her mind, coz i know i can't decide on anything. (I'm rather dependent on my magic 8-ball.)

Actually, all that is crap. I'll be happy with anyone i love. Just so long as you love me back, i'll be happy till the end of time.
Come what may...
Come what may...
I will LOVE you,
Till my dying day...

Oooo, Moulin Rouge, I HAVE GOT TO WATCH IT AGAIN...
Get the lyrics for "We Can Be Lovers"

Christian: Love is a many splendid things, love, lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love.
Satine: Please, don't start that again.

C: All you need is love.
S: A girl has got to eat.

C: All you need is love.
S: Or she'll end up on the streets.

C: All you need is love~
S: Love is just a game.

C: I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me.
S: The only way of loving me baby, is to pay a lovely fee.

C: Just one night, just one night.
S: There's no way, cause you can't pay.

C: In the name of love, one night in the name of love!
S: You crazy fool, I won't give in to you.

C: Don't leave me this way, I can't survive, without your sweet love, oh baby, don't leave me this way.
S: You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.

C: I look around me and I see, it isn't so, oh no.
S: Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs.

C: Well what's wrong with that? I'd like to know. Cause here I go... Love lifts us up where we belong, where eagles fly, on the mountain high!
S: Love makes us act like we are fools, throw our lives away for one happy day.

C: We could be heroes! Just for one day.
S: You, you will be mean.

C: No I won't!
S: And I, I--I'll drink all the time.

C: We should be lovers.
S: We can't do that.

C: We should be lovers, and that's a fact.
S: Though nothing, will keep us together.

C: We could still try...
Both: Just for one day. We could be heroes, forever and ever.
We could be heroes, forever and ever. We could be heroes...
C: And I will always love you.

S: I
Both:Can't help loving you
S:How Wonderful life is
Both:Now your in the world

Woooo, okay, enough of the silly love songs.
That's all i guess. I tired and i gotta go study for my vectors test... Heh heh...

Nicholas Goh signing off,
See you again on "Channel Nicholas" News.
*Music plays*

Bloop Bleep Bloob~

2008-07-21T02:52:00.000-07:00

Beepp... ERROR ERROR... MALFUNCTION IN BODY... EVACUATE...

Sighh... I guess the only time i can blog now is when i'm sick...
Actually not so sick as compared to aching so hard I can't even get up properly...
*ouch* Even typing hurts my arms... Sigh~
What happened? Well, I have a few guesses... I could have been abducted by aliens in the middle of the nights and beaten half to death, then get thrown onto a mrt track and get rammed over before being miraculously regenerated through a ritual that required a castration and even more beatings(Yes, the castrated area gets regenerated too), then my memory was erased but leavings me withs aches all over... *sniffles*

OR

It could be due to friday's Physical Training + Basketball + Weight training, followed by saturday's 50 laps and 58 km spinning on the stationary bicycle, followed by sunday's "kill me" next 50 laps in the morning, giving me a total of 100laps ran and 58km cycled for the Trilympics 2008... Oh yeah, and i also got hurt down there... I nearly cried... Don't wanna talk about it...

Yeah, so, today hurt so much i didn't go to school. So i TRIED to do my EOM only to find out that I did it wrongly, *I only checked the sample EOM when i was about to finish...*

OOOO!!! And during Trilympics, we were able to clinch top 5 in our School Challenge! with a total of, errr... 446.7km? right? Or was it 466? Hmmm... But you know what was the best part? WE ONLY HAD *ouch* 13 PPL!! (Sorry Timothy, you left half-way so the others didn't include you...) We were supposed to go in teams of 25, but we didn't get enough, but if we had more, i BET we would have been able to THRASH the others... Well, i'll have to thank the others for doing all they could and Douglas, the half-naked one no one could compete with...(Okay, he was only half-naked when he was resting, after finishing the thing)

I think i'll be going to school tomorrow... Yeah. I should... Anyway, i'll see you all around eh... Oh, and thanks Trilympics volunteers for making all this possible, although you guys were loud, troublesome anda widdle bit *gargghh*... You guys are reliable and that's what i like about you... Except for that bloody *ouch* DA NIAO soloman QUACK KWANG YANG (I know that not how you spell his name) who was supposed to come... GRRRR...

I'll try to get some pics up soon, I'm really getting sick of putting up pictures... BLEH~ *ouch*

Lets see oh yeah... Things to do... EoM, WR, JC2 appreciation Lunch, Lifesaving Noticeboard, Be Yourself Day posters, trilympics thanking assembly thingy to make those others happy... Err, what else? Oh yeah... NOW'S the EMO paarrtt...

So are we actually friends or are we strangers who just happen to know each other... C'mon, at least be shocked, or pause for a while... I popped up of no where and you run away to somewhere... Talk to me, respond to me, answer me... At least help me BELIEVE you want to be just friends... If not i'll just continue being the desperate emo kid looking for help... Do you know how i look at people now? I see them as people... Just one after another, my best friends have become people, no more beacons of light, just more and more intersections crossing my sad little thread of life... none of them making knots, none of them truly touching, only my little thread knotting itself up messing up it's own life... I don't care how people will read this or how they will interpret it to be... Just know that right now, I just want a friend that i can REALLY depend on, one that will laugh with me and smile with me, cry with me and shout at me. One who will look for me when in trouble, and will in turn help me in any way possible, like how i'll do whatever i can when it's the other way around.

Whoo~ That was Great.. Nice job on the EMO-ing part i must say... Heh heh... Okay, time to go on with everyday life and finish up the bleedin' EoM of the bleedin' survey about bleedin' Mineral Makeup.

Tag quiz thingy

2008-06-29T06:46:00.000-07:00

1.What disappoints you the most?
Hmmm, myself.
2.Where would you go if someone sponsors you an air ticket?
Alone, i'll go to America or Canada. With someone else, maybe Paris or Europe?
3.What's your favourite thing to do?
Sleep and socialize. Maybe reading..
4.Do you think money can buy happiness?
Money can buy entertainment, but not true happiness. Although money is needed to be happy.
5.If you have a dream to come true,what would it be?
Hmmm, TO BE TRULY happy. <3
6.Do you believe in love at first sight?
Different ppl have different fates. To meet someone and love the person would be great but, no.
7.What are you afraid to lose?
My life (Which is everything in it.)
8.If you win a million dollars, what would you do with it?
Pay any debts due, and then get more money using the million dollars. After that, i'll probably get an XBOX360. Get all the games i want. XP
9.What do you dream of doing in the future?
I dream of getting loaded. Eh, and live a comfortable life. Maybe through anyway possible. Eh heh heh heh...
10.List 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
He's loyal, logical and determined.
11.Do you believe in fate?
Philosophical side.. Maybe not.. But in my heart, yes. I want to believe in fate.
12.What do you think is the most important thing in your life.
Believing in yourself and trusting the ppl you care about.
13.If it's the end of the world, what will be your last wish?
I don't wanna die a VIRGIN! HAHAHAHA, but seriously. For the world not to end. ;P
14.If you had the chance to choose, would you like to go back in time?
Hmmm, yes. To slap my younger self in the face to get him to wake up and tell him to get it on and have more confidence in himself(myself). (Not letting him see my face of course...)
15.What is the ONE thing you want badly now?
Eh heh... A (good)girlfriend. Nahhh~ Probably LOTS OF MONEY...
16.Do you have a pet?
ABBY!!! Cuyuttee little kitty...
17.What makes you happy?
Hmmm, having a (cute/pretty)girl holding my hand, reading nice books/comics, reaching inner peace, going out with friends and cracking jokes, and doing fun stuff
18.What type of person do you hate the most?
The type of person who does not listen and cuts you off half way through your explanation and does not believe you even if it's true and when you're talking he gives that face and makes those noises like yeah, right. *GRRRRRRR*
19.Do you tell ppl how you feel when you're down?
If they ask and i think they might understand. But usually i don't show if i'm down, i hide it under a face of happiness and if they ask i'll be like :D
20.What would kind of present would you want for a birthday? (Must be practical)
Hmmm, I would want accessories! Like gloves and stuff, coz i don't have much of those.. *sniff*
Instructions:Remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chatbox that he/she has been tagged.

Tagged: CaiLing, LooKuang, Lucienne, Reuben, WeiQi, WeeChoon.

Song going through my head.

2008-06-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

Shi Nian - Eason Chan

Is this song tired?
Coz it's been running throungh my mind since i've heard it!!

Wahahaha... But seriously? I was blog surfing again aand i found a friend's blog and saw HER friend's blog which had this song and it sounds SO familiar! Did i hear it when they sang it on Kbox? Or was it in a movie??? Ahhh... Then i listened to the lyrics and THEN it really got me... Sigh... It's a nice song... BUT STILL!! Why is it so familiar?

ANyway, on an earlier note... I had my BM "test" in which we learned more than we answered... meh... The guy was testing on the first aid techniques, not our lifesaving techniques. But meh... He said 3-4 out of 6 of us would have failed, and since i passed the timing and i think i did quite well, i would have passed if he had not made ALL 6 of us retest... Sighh...

But on an EVEN earlier note, on Monday to Tuesday, i've been to a camp where i took care of a bunch of kids. Not so much of took care as to played with...

First day had to go out in the sun and get sun burnt. The first games weren't that bad, but later in the jetty, while during the "treasure hunt", i was burning hot. And the kids drank my water... *sniff* (MIIINNEEE) Then one of the kids in the last group dropped his slipper in the sea. Sorry i couldn't get it back. But i got him a balloon dog on the second day. Met the Mjc ppl and the SAJC gals. Was okay, watched Euro match at mac.

Second Day woke up with a rose in my shirt, no idea how it got there. Then we kinda played a while before going to Bukit Chandu. The legendary Battle for Pasir Panjang or something. With honorary war heroes. And had a sucky nightwalk. Got screamed at by one of the SAJC gals.>.<(It was LOUD..) Accomponied an injured boy and three crying girls, all were later passed on to someone else to take care of. Then went to play pool and lost coz i sunk the bleedin' black ball...

Third day woke up LATE, they say they tried to wake me up by playing stacko and purposely collapsing it, but it didn't work. In the end, woke up feeling deadish.. Ughh... But the SAJC gals came back, together with help in the form of Andy (lau), Ehem.. And it was kinda fun, the RI volunteers were great but one guy lost to a girl at almost all the carnival booths. When we were going home, it started raining HEAVILY... So i asked for most of their numbers... And went home in the bus with poi... (Why poi anyway??) Hahaha... And had to wake her up instead of the other way around (SHOCK AND AWE!!). Haha. Went home and felt so dead, i fell asleep straight away and got up an hour later to shower then fell asleep in the shower, only to come out of the shower and fall asleep on my bed once again. Still without unpacking.

Then on another note...

I AM SOOOO GOING TO FAIL MY MID-YEARS!!! GAWD... And why?

Just FUQ it...

=Frequently Unanswered Questions.

Hahahaha... OMG I Love that guy...>.<

Emo guys still can flirt.

2008-06-12T09:25:00.000-07:00

Ohigod ohmigod... OLY SHOIT!!
I need to study. I need to study... I need to stop playing. I need to stop thinking about girls. I need to get my head out of my pants.. I need a friggin girl to keep me focussed. I won't listen to other guys... I dunno why...
And hey... Guess what? I think i'm hooked onto this gal i met on an online game... I'm waaayyy too serious... She was cute, but i dunno... Didn't see her online after that day...

Sighh...

I really shouldn't go for online gals... Though they can be cute, like the one i met... Heh heh.. I could have chosen btwn a french gal or her... But the french one was bitchy... Waayy too bitchy... So i asked the other one for her MSN(the non-bitchy one) i think she gave me the right one... She added me too... But hmmmphh... Been checking the game daily... Didn't see her. Oh Fukt it...

Need to stop this nonsense... Start studying, every time i open my chem of any work i go blank, i can't think... I need SERIOUS help... T.T

AND ALSO...I still think about her... Why, we don't even talk anymore.. I unknowingly bought this card and thought it might be nice giving it to her,but like... WHAT THE HELL? Sigh... I might as well burn it... Together with the necklace...

Well, maybe this post was meant to be emo...

BUT HEEYYY... OMG! I met this gal from california online and she's great, she's so cute too... And she's 14 years old! >.< Hahaha, added on friendster... And god, what have i become?

But you know what, i'm just gonna go on with life, not knowing what i wanna do...
Like, i dunno if i can be a doctor, or start a business, coz thats the fastest way to big cash... I dunno... Hey, messed up train of thought will give us train wreckages...
I wanna get drunk, then i'll have an excuse to do stupid stuff... But i don't get drunk... WHY???

Hey, i better start being serious...

Rigghhhhtt... Okay. Sure. Cya all soon i guess...

2008-06-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, i've been busy and when i looked at the number of pictures to upload... I went, UGHH... SO MANY!!! So i'll put most of them on photobucket and post some here... That okay with you?

So here is HanXian going around the pool wearing only his shirt... HAHAHA! (Ask him if it's true!)

Candid shots of seniors 1

Candid shots of seniors 2

ChenPeng Smilin'

XinYi/ChenPeng Scandal!!

Senior Scandal!! ;P

Here are some pics we took by the baby pool... IT WAS FUN!! Hahaha..

Group Photo, i took the pic... WeiYang going "Once Upon A Time..." Hahaha

Group pic 2, not inside agn... T.T HAHA But WeiYang looks like the grandpa... And JenHun is the pervert over there... Hahaha, and CaiLing is like YEAH~! Hahaha..

Yay!! I'm in the middle, but i look Friggin' retarded.. >.< And ShiWee Behind FLYIN' Hahaha..

Now the new shampoo formula of Dove Shampoo! As advertised by our budding actress, MARIA! Woah~

Macho Macho Man!! I Wanna be A MACHO MAN!!

Can you read what that is? That is our Synchronized Swimming Team! Hahaha...

He had so much fun that after that ShiWee got constipation... Huuurrghhhh...

There are MANY MANY MORE pictures, the link is here!
Photobucket! Free, easy and i'm not being paid to advertise...

Hey all i'm sorry but i dunno when the next update will be... But, hopefully, it will be soon... :)

Smell it smell it... Now take it! That's for you...

Lifesavers ROCKKKK!!

2008-05-27T06:53:00.000-07:00

Sorry my dear readers for not updating for so long...
Have you worried for me? Awww, i'm touched...
Well, you see my dears, daddy's been a little busy lately (Not telling you what i've been doing...;P)
So okay, to fill you up with the latest events in my life... I'm running for the CCA comm and the REACH comm, and well, i've not really got my class ready for any REACH activity... And god, that's bad news for me... But on the other hand, i think my CCA is getting along just FINE! For those of you who don't know what my CCA is... I'm in Lifesaving/swimming!! The best DAMN CCA you can get! Hahaha!
And i took some photos of the team a few days ago (Although some had to go home first, and i couldn't get all of them in the pics...)

JenHan, smiling like :D and Maria on his right, only seen once coz she left early... SAD...

The mugging lifesaver, cell division, prophase or anaphase... I forget...

left to right~ WeiYang, JieMing, ME! I'm going a little coocoo here...

ChengPeng and ME, Student councilor okay, dun play play

ZiYang, the celeb sia.. NO PHOTOGRAPHS! And Jen Han with pissed off face...

4lifesavers sitting in a row... WAIT, what's JenHan sitting on?!

McSpicy... YOUUUU AAARREEE SO BEAUUUTIIFFULL TO ME!

Wow, DaJie, since when was your complexion so PALE? Or more like so bright? >.<...

XianGe, why are you looking at your rabbit fingers? And JenHan! WTF?!

4 of them again, sorry, forgot to intro... Nearest to us is ZiYang, then is his McSpicy, followed closely by WeiYang, next, also interested in the McSpicy is ChengPeng... And LASTLY, but certainly not LEASTlY, is Janice Da Jie... *DunHurtME*PLEASE!

href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_YNHvG4ORd7c/SDwhplksoNI/AAAAAAAAAEg/VtX31nAwyA0/s1600-h/PICT8871.JPG">
JieMing pops a camera out too, you want a fight? You got one, en garde!

The two of them are plotting something... I expertly spy at them by hiding behind the pole! I am the BEST private investigator EVER!

DUCK AND COVER! Yeah~ the one further is DUCK the one closer is COVER..

The two ppl who brought the CAMERAS! We are the CAMERAHS! I can't think of anything better... *cough*tag*cough*

Still plotting, gave up on undercover work

HOLY PUNCH! HanXian is a paladin, whose good deeds have granted him the powers of LIGHT!

JenHan and Janice going for a fight... Na Li Bu Shuang?! J&J

ChengPeng is a Cyclopes! I KNEW IT!

JenHan and his normal face, hmmm, looks like >.< Hahahahaha!!

Well thats all, but i have a video too... see if i can get it on the next post...
VERY SOON, i promise...

Signing out,
The many named NICK, NNNNNNNNNN

p.s.Those are just rotated ZZZZZZZZZs... Lolz...

WOAHH!!

2008-05-05T17:48:00.000-07:00

NOW THAT WAS SOME SERIOUS EMO~ing... Haha...

Okay, back to life on the whole... I'm in the school library blogging...
I find THAT weird...

Well, i don't really have much time to do anything much if i do all my assignments...
So you know what i do? I don't do my assignments! WTH! Right? >.<
Sigh... What happened to that good little boy who always passed up his work... ON TIME!
I dunno, maybe he never really WAS there... Yeah, i never was that...

Let me think... What do i have taking up my time?
MON- not much... Just do some work and catch up on the sleep i lose on Sunday...
TUE- Hmmm.. PE makes me tired... But after that i usually need to do research on stuff for KI and some other work...
WED- LIFESAVING takes over the whole evening while school takes up morning and afternoon! Nothing can be done today!
THU- Err... Not very sure... Lemme think... PE also, and try doing SOME work... I dunno, usually fall asleep quite early...
FRI- After school, i have some time, but it's usually taken up by the HOSPICE CARE, or some REACH stuff before going over to the HOUGANG Tutoring thing... Hmmm... Yup..
SAT- Play some, work some, go out usually, yeah, i know, i should do some work, but hell! I'm not like that!
SUN- Hmmm... Do some stuff in the morning, go to tuition in the afternoon, after tuition go over to the library(I've found a new place to study, free flow of drinks and ice cream! How COOL is THAT??) to mug for 4 to 5 hours straight... I know it's not much, but it's the best i can do... Then go home, blog a bit i guess, try to mug at night, then go to sleep...

Hmmm... That's about it... And what are the "assignments" i have on mind? Lemme think... KI research, MATH, CHEM, BIO & ECONS tutorials and assignments, BIO & CHEM SPA, REACH rep design for the wall, COMPASS lesson on SL and 5Rs approach, shirt design for lifesaving, Hospice care ppl(Just on my mind, not urgent), my kids in HOUGANG family care tutoring thingy... (Yess, i think of them and how to friggin' restrain that idiotic boy from whacking the other boy, how to get the other boy to do his work, how to get little C.A. to stop kissing my arm... [ughhhhh..]), the camp that's coming, and yeah, mainly girls, GIRLS, girls, and THE GIRL... Yeah, they're kinda like assingments, stressful, mentally and physically draining and you really feel happy when you've accomplished your goal... But, no that's a really BAD analogy actually... Weak and false analogy... Still dunno the difference... Hahha...

OKAY! That's all... Time to do my Bio work plan, which i forgot to do last night... UGHHH... >.< =.= O.O

Well,
Tune in next time for the next episode of the TELN! Teenage EMO Lame Nicholas! NOW THAT'S LAME...

...Overlay yeast-glucose mixture with oil...

2008-05-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

You know what, i think i'm losing my feelings...
I WANT to be emotionless, or just uncaring..
Indifferent to my life, whether i pass or fail my tests, whether my friends like me or not...
Well, actually, a part of me DOES want to care, but sometimes it's a bit too painful...

I'm going to share a bit of what i truly feel, maybe for once in this blog...
At the MRT station, i saw a couple holding hands, exactly the way i held her hand, exactly the same, i could imagine how we would look if we were there, we would just have different faces, but the same smiles... At least for me, i could feel the guys happiness as he held her hand. At that moment, my heart just wrenched out, i felt as if someone pulled it out at that moment, but stuffed it back in just so i could live, painfully and horribly, but still living... I gripped onto my bag, just to stop me from doing anything... I don't know what i could have done, or why, but i just felt that i wanted to hurt something, anything... I walked into the MRT that way and just stood at the side of the train as it rattled my anger away, or was it not anger... It felt more than anger, even now as i'm typing, my heart still burns as i think of the couple, how happy they were... How happy i was... Sigh... I guess it's better that it's over, any longer and i MIGHT have grown too attached, and well... You're right i guess... It's better that we just end it before we got too serious and get into a REAL relationship eh...

Hahaha... OKAY! NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO PUT MY SMILE BACK ON!
The smile all of you see, and the frown all of you see is just a mask... For you to think i'm just happy or emo, when i'm happy, i might just be thinking to myself... OH F***ITALL!! But you wouldn't know right? Heh Heh Heh...

Oh yeah... I wanted to post about how much i love my sister!! HAHAHAHA!!
SHe has GREAT TASTE! I get most of my shirts form her and yeah, well they kinda suit me... So yeaahhh...

This is the newest, my sissy saw it and immediately thought of me... I wonder why...

The back of the same shirt.

This one is also a shirt design...

My sister bought this one for me too... No you see why she's SO great? Hahaha...

This one, was hers but i liked it too much... Me being the EMO kid and all... Haha...
But she didn't want to give it to me, so at first we shared it, then she passed it to me, after many days of keeping it under custody... Hahaha...

I always like to wear the one inside with something else, maybe coz it's a little big, but it's the design which ROX! Hahhaa

Love this one! TAKE YOUR TOP OFF!!

Same one but closer up...

BUT!! YEAHH!! That's all for today's post! I think i'm making it weekly... Hmmm... That'll do for this week's episode of NICHOLAS THE EMO TEENAGE BOY! or some thing like that...

Angels and Demons

2008-04-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

Yoz~
Hi again! I'm still not really coping well with JC work and stuff... But my mom got me a new pencil case and new stationaries (I lost my old pencil case somewhere with all my favorite stuff... MY PENCIL!!T.T)... So now I doodle A LOT more... I even drew this little comic strip for the school competition! Wheeee... Time-consuming but FUN! Haha...
So yeah, about the title, NOPE, it's not about the book but about my two favorite doodles so far... Done during the PW period... Haha...
Firstly, my...

Angel

Next, my little...

Demon

And,

Two of them together...

And also,

A Reaper, Just for fun...

So yeah... Those are my favorite... I penned them so maybe they look a bit better now... But i have a few others... Which aren't as nice i guess... Wonder what i'll draw next... Haha...

Oh and for some WEIRD reason, i'm getting hooked onto Avatar... HELP! >.<

EVS- Aussie slang for WHATEVER

2008-04-20T09:01:00.000-07:00

Soyez hasard! French for Be Random!

Quelle que soit. Meaning, Whatever. So long for just one word? Meh...
So what am i doing nowadays? I've been rather down these days... Actually, there WAS a period of about 3-5days where i was high, ecstasy ran through my veins. And know i know what they meant about the higher you climb, the further you fall or something like that...

BUT HEY! EVS! It's part of life, i can't be all suicidal and whatnot coz i know that's just STUPID! AND OMG!!! I just realised how much work i've not done... Sigh, procrastination, you BITCH! Well, that's just pushing my blame away eh... So i'm behind in my math, chem, bio, KI?, econs, PW(PI), OMG i think that's EVERYTHING! *sheesh* But I think i'll blame that on QC, it's too ADDICTIVE! Questionable Content, one of my many beloved webcomics... Included are: TwoLumps, TwoKinds, LastBlood, MysticRevolution!!, NowhereUniversity, AoiHouse, Bardsworth, and too many to read actually... And some of them are a bit weird to mention... And yeah, i waste my time on these... >.<

And oh yeah... SOMEONE got me addicted to ambigrams again... I wonder who... Here are some lousy one that i drew...

LOVE

YOU

Well, that's one of them... There's one i'd rather not show and here's another one...

Don't really like this one... Very uneven... Well, actually, that says a lot about LOVE... Haha...

Hmm... I'm trying to figure out the string theory and it's messing with my head... I just like the pants and the wormholes... >.<

Anyway... Time to do my PI... I guess... Sigh...
Time to become the emo, loner, crazy, slow, rude, *bad stuff here* geek that i am...

I think i should go on a diet! I'm FAT! HAHAHAHAHA... *PLS DON'T KILL ME!!*

Blah blah blah... klsdhf lkahfdkjl oaihfion... = I have no idea... = Je ne Comprends Pas.

Sketchies And School

2008-03-24T07:50:00.000-07:00

Hey People! Wassup?
On this episode, i've uploaded some of my doodles from econs class and from CLB class... Haha... Hmmm... But i can't seem to rotate the pics... So, sorry for any inconveniences caused... Hahaa...

Also,I think it'll be best to enlarge the last photo... It's the clearest...

So these were during CLB, I think it's like a story

Boy meets up with girl and gives her flowers... He's very shy... Hahaha...

On the way home, girl falls asleep with flowers still in her hands...

This is another story... Very blur, but it's like the boy gives the girl balloon(Looks like the gal is holding the balloon right?) and the girl's very happy... But the boy doesn't know if he's doing the right thing... To give her the balloon, as it's too easily popped, but seeing that the girl likes it, he can do nothing but to give her the balloon, just thinking of what would happen if it bursts...

Then decided to get a whole pic of all three... ENLARGE IT!

I think i'll sketch a prologue to the first two pics... How they met, and how the guy called her for a date... And in between... What they did during the date... Oh and an ending... I wonder what will happen to the two of them... I like them, they're sweet... Haha... A picture says a thousand words, but a little sketch? Maybe a hundred... Hahaha...

Oh yeah, on school, sigh... I'm lagging behind... My math is sucky and my chem needs help... I think i'm going to fail the bio test... KI is giving me too much to think about... At least i have an idea of what to do for PW... Sigh... Maybe i should stop doodling in class eh... Hahaha... So, i guess i'll have to adapt, to the sleeping pattern and the way of life... NO MORE HONEYMOON PERIOD! Hahaha...

Sketchies and School... Ended...
To be cont... The story of the school sketched romance...

Abby Goh Kitty Kat

2008-03-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

Hey EVERYBODY!
I'm not sure but i don't think i've said anything about my pussy... Wait! I mean my CAT! Don't think dirty, i'm very innocent... Hahahaha.. So yeah! I have a CAT, for all you sotong-heads who don't know that i have a cat...

A very nice picture if i may say... Thanks to my sis, she is a very good photographer eh?

This pic was taken by me... It shows how FAT my cat is, trying to fit herself into a shoebox but her butt is too big...

Err... Just found out that i have VERY few pics of my cat... Will have to find some... So i'll post some pictures of Abby the pussy cat for you to see! And don't think dirty... I'm innocent to the core... :) Heh heh heh...

You are in the CAVE!

2008-03-10T22:22:00.000-07:00

Hey all!

Just wanted to drop in to waste a little time when i'm actually supposed to be doing my chem tutorials... I really have to stop procrastinating... Hmmm... Maybe later... Old joke... But enough crap...

Have i ever said anything about me being philosophical? No i guess not... Cause i'm not... I just like thinking sometimes... Like how many of you know Plato's cave? To dumb it down to the bare minimum, just think of it as the matrix... Easy enough... Then what if someone escapes the matrix and comes back into it knowing that everyone is actually in that comatose state... He tells everyone he can, but would anyone believe him? Well that's what i think it's kinda like, but not the matrix... I believe it's more of an illusion or blindfold someone puts over him/herself... Only you can take the darkness away or just add more illusions to cloud your vision... Anyway, that's kinda why i'm a freethinker... I'm free to think what i want, no religion, no illusions, just pure reliance on your own belief... Like for me, i kinda believe in the big bang... And that there was something before that... Like there was an implosion that caused the explosion...

Woah... Okaayyy, enough... head hurting, and i've not started on my chem... But everyone... YOU ARE IN THE CAVE! Or the matrix if you wanna call it that...

The matrix actually means womb... Hmmmm...

Updating

2008-03-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

Decided to be a little bit more narcissistic...

Hey…
I’ve really not updated for quite some time eh… Haha… Sorry for the long Hiatus… But it’ll probably get longer next time… Also, my internet connection was cut coz my parents removed my internet access for two weeks… And the time before that? I was just too plain tired or lazy to update… Hahha… And well, on the previous episode of The Life of Nicholas Goh, I was torturing myself for taking KI, but actually, KI has been fun… So far… Hahaha… Well, since that day, A LOT has been happening to me…

Well, you see, it has been a few weeks already right? If I’m not wrong? And so over that time, I went for the MJC Orientation, which was WEEEEEEEE!!! Hahaha… I will continue talking about the Orientation later… I met the ppl I’ll be with for the next 1and a ½ years… I chose my CCA, I’ll tell ya about that later also… ;P Hahaha… I also met lots of gals, but… I dunno… I just don’t feel overwhelmed by anyone… Haha, am I thinking too much of Love? Naaahhh, I’ll keep my expectations so I can either focus on my ‘A’ levels or really find the ONE! Hahaha… But hey LOADS of new friends and old schoolmates who shall be my new friends!

So about my Orientation? It was cool, well first day was Ooooo… New ppl! O.O Second day was, ooo … O.o Only on the third day was I really, OOOOO ORIENTATION!!! Welll… My brain wasn’t working during MMM actually… And I still think the ACSiting race was better… SIGH… But still, overall I think MJC’s orientation was better! The Dance Finale was WEEEEE!!! Haha… But only at some parts… And oh yeah! The cheers!!! CALLISTOOOOOO!!! CALLISTO, win them all! Make the others sweep the floor! Heads up in the sky, our spirits never die! MOVE IT, CALLISTO! MOOOVE IT!!! And the others are WOOTS! Hahaha… And the FISHKA! Hahhaaha… I’m WAAYY too skinny! You know the Hakka? This is the FISHKA! Everyyboooddyy! Let’s catch soommeee… FISHHHHH!!! Ahhhh! CUTTLEFISH SOTONG SEAWEED! Ahhhhh! TUNA AND SALMON ARE SWEEEEETT!! WE THROW THE NET, WE PULL THE NET! WE BRING BACK THE BIG, BIG, BIG FISHHHH!!! WE COOK IT, WE FRY IT, WE OFFER THE GOD THE BIG FIIIISSSHHHH!!! Hahha… That’s it! Hahha…. You must watch the video on youtube, it’s uber funny!! Also the rock bands made me headbang my head off! That was part of the Dance Finale anyway… Oh yeah Zul dropped by too and he was rocking with us… Haha… Alsoooo… CALLISTO WON THE ORIENTATION! HAHAHAHHAHAHA! Hmmm… Come to think of it… When I was in ACS(I), my OG11(God Bless Them/Us) won almost everything (I wonder how they are right now…) … AND now here my house won the overall thing… WOOTS! Hahaha… And the Auction thing? PENDING!!! Haha… Crazyyy… BUT! Orientation is LONG over! So I better get on with life… And better get my brain working again… MY MATH IS DYING!!! NOOOOOO!!!

And also, my CCA? Haha… Guess, Drama Club again? NOPE! DANCE? CHOIR? NO, NO… I AM IN… (Drum-roll) ~~~~~~SWIMMING! Or better known as LIFESAVING!!!! I don’t mind either but when I say swimming ppl will be like, huh? there’s a swimming club? Then I’ll be like HAHAHA, it’s lifesaving actually… Well, what possessed me to join lifesaving? After watching the movie L, change the world… I started picking stuff up with two fingers a-n-d i-‘-m t-y-p-i-n-g w-i-t-h t-w-o f-i-n-g-e-r-s n-o-w… Hahaha, but seriously? I wanted to train for NS and become a better swimmer at the same time… Also when someone asks my sister if her siblings swim, she can say, oh! my brother is in his school swimming club! And they’ll be like… Oh, okaayy… Hahahahhahaha!!! And another thing… I’m TOO WHITE!!! Not PALE, WHITE!!! My legs are less tan than the gal who sat beside me! And I’m like, please don’t look at my legs… They’re so white, they’re practically see-through… But for swimming, we had to swim 20laps for warm-up… Well it wasn’t really warm-up, it was more like OMGGG!!!! LEG CRAMPS!!! SWIM TO THE SIDE!!! AHHHH!!! Relax, rest, swim… AHHHH!!! NOW IT”S THE OTHER BLOODY LEG! CRAMP!!! Almost everyone had leg cramps, even the all-mighty Han Xian who finished the 20 laps and was swimming the 21st when he got his first cramp… Well I was able to go cramp free until 16 laps or 18 laps? But I was struggling since the 5th… Hahaha… Note to self: Work on stamina… How? Note to self again: Find a way to work on my stamina… Haha… Wah… My legs are still hurting… Must get something for it…

Well, on a different note, I NEED TO MUG MORE!!! Not that I want to, but I know that I NEED to… But, sigh… I have no one to really push me… And I mean no one that I want to push me to push me… Like my parents always push me, so I don’t really want them to push me… But I want some one I’ll listen to to tell me to do my work… If you get what I mean… Hahaha…

Oooo… Lots of words here eh… Hahaha, longest blog for me so far… Hahaha… Anyway, the next blog would probably be later too... Sorry about that eh... And so stay tuned for the next episode of The Life of Nicholas Goh! TLNG, Teenage Lame Ninja Guy...>.<

Saw in a commercial and thought:
Sea-horses headbutt for territory…
Wonder how long they take to fight for their territory… Hmmm…
Can the males fight if they’re “pregnant”? Or do the females fight? Hmmm…

S102.4

2008-02-20T23:16:00.000-08:00

Sooo...
Subjects combination and no more looking back...
AHHHHHHH!!! I'm going to take KI??!!!
DO I WANNA DIE? Sigh...
Okkk... For anyone who wants to know, my first choice combi is...

Bio2, Chem2, Maths2, KI, Econs1, MTL(B), PW

And second choice combi is...

Bio2, Chem2, Maths2, Econs2, GP, MTL(B), PW

Okaayyy... And something else, someone *i dunno who ar* Haha... Wanted me to Talk about V day more? But sorry cannot coz my family can access so its very dangerous... Even right now my sister might be spying on me... >.> <.< O.O Ok! That's it! CYA and stay tune to the next episode of life with NICK GOH!

MJC!!!! Wahahahahaha

2008-02-20T02:58:00.000-08:00

Wow! Confidence Duuuudddeeee!
First day in MJ, and i'm drunk on loove... Hahahaha... Joking, just drunk on happiness... I got into MJC, it's nice there... Made new friends... Some cute girls... Hahaha, not many but they're there... Anyway, I'm enjoying myself overall...
The big problem now... Subject combination!! WHY CAN'T THEY LIKE GIVE US SOME TIME? 11:30PM TONIGHT?!?!?! Grrrr.... I PASSED THE KI APTITUDE TEST BABYYYYY!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! But now i wonder how many passed... Should i take KI? If i don't why? And why not? And then there's the little nagging feeling that i should not take it, or should i? I can't tell!!! Why can't it be the same sure-win feeling that i got on the day i won big on blackjack? Sigh... Woah!!! Emotional russshhh...

I'll list out most of my emotions here and the reasons:
Ecstatic-I got into MJC!
Elated-I Passed the KI aptitude test(That i wasn't THINKING of doing!)
Overjoyed- New and old friends!!!
CooCooCrazzyy-Normal self but even more due to cute girls(heh heh heh)
Frustrated-Limited time to decide over the subject combination.
Emo(ing)-Should i take KI or should i NOT take KI?
Confused-With the number of emotions i'm feeling...
Devastated-Why am i so confused?

Okay, these are just the ones that are at the tip of of tongue or mind...
So i guess i'll blog later to update my subject combination...
BUT DINNER FIRST!

Post-Valentine, Pre-Allocations

2008-02-18T07:27:00.000-08:00

Heyyy Everybody, I'm Doctor Nick!
Hahaha... Errr.. You know, the simpsons surgeon who has no idea what he's doing...
Okaayyy... Anyway back to my life...
After Valentine's day already, so err valentine's day was fun but for privacy issues i'm just going to say i watched JUMPER and it was nice, no real plot though... And after that we had ice-cream and had weird green tea and chocolate mixture...>.< And so that all i'm gonna say about V Day!
After V.Day, on the 15th, my family had a chalet for my sista, who turned 21 on the 16th! OMG!!! She doesn't even seem 21! It was kinda 3days and 2nights, and we brought Abby! She was exploring the house and only got used to it on the last day... And we only invited all the relatives on the 16th... We played Pictionary which was fun especially with the cuzzies...
Err... So now i'm just freaking over the posting... Which is tomorrow!!! OMGG!!! AHHHH!!!
Ok, CONFIDENCE DUUDDEE... 8A.M. Collect the results by sms or e-mail and ~smile~, laugh at my own kiasuness when i put in some Poly courses at the end, Just In Case... Haha... Call friends to see where THEY are going... Then ~smile~ ~laugh~ ~GO CRAZIEE~ Learn their couple dance again Just in case... HAahaha...
Okay! I'll probablyy not be able to blog much after i start to need to study... Sigh...
NOOOOOO!!! MY FACEBOOK!!! I'LL MISS YOU!!! HAHAAHA...

So See you when i see you!;)

Err... Helps>.
2008-02-12T12:27:00.000-08:00
Err just a P.S. note, How do i get rid of the line slash thing in the links, if your name has a slash don't be offended... I just can't get rid of the line thingies... Thanks...

Back from outer space?

2008-02-12T11:48:00.000-08:00

YOYOYO!!! I'm back!
And so you're back from outer space and -dum--dum--dum--dum- look upon your face...
Or something like that! Haha Thanks for watching the vids peeps...
I know ~LAME~ so now i'm just waiting for the posting to finish so i can just go to MJC... *CONFIDENCE DUUUUDEEE*
And, no other pics and Anywaaaay, VALENTINE`S IS TOMORROW! Yes i know a few ppl are expecting me to tell you who i'm going to ask or what i'm going to do but seriously, i'm REALLY not sure... Like, I want to but i think it's a bad idea... Anyone get what i'm saying? Sigh... I've got an idea of who i might MOST want to ask but I think that since we're going our separate ways, we might break apart and i wouldn't want something to happen and just suddenly we start drifting away... I've coped with stuff over my life but YES, I've never had a girlfriend, and i wouldn't know what to do or how much time i have to spend... Maybe i just worry too much... And for the other girls... ;P I'm sorry but i didn't really feel that much of a connection... Sigh... Depressing subject... OKAY! NEXT subject,
Hmmm... I wanna watch Heroes AGAIN! Back to season ONE! I rmb my ACSI friends/OG talked about Heroes A LOT, well, yeah, i joined in some of the conversations... And well actually i missed a GREAT BIG chunk of season ONE... So now i'm up late doing this...
And also, not really changed much since last year, still need MORE willpower... EXERCISE, STUDY, SOCIALIZE AND DO STUFFF!!! *TOO ADDICTED TO FACEBOOK*
And so I'll see you when i see you... HAHAHAHA

Today and the year before...

2008-02-04T06:29:00.000-08:00

Hi ppl!
Today was kinda boring...
Still not really doing work or exercising...
WILL POWERRR!!!! I need...
to control myself... Tml i'll wake up end i'll go back to CSS i guess...
Anyway back to today... I went to Bras Basah then went to the ear doc, Mr Wilson...
Did some stuff with my new hearing aid and i can hear better! Weee!!!
Actually it's not really life changing it just allows me to hear better...
A bit better but that's still good ain't it? Haha... Then went back to Bras Basah to say hi to Yi Hao and buy stuff from popular... Then ate dinner with my family and came home...
So here i am reminiscing on last year... CNY is coming, since i missed New Year, i'll make it up here... So...

Last year, I went through the truly life-changing experience of the 'O's!!! Dun-dun-duunnnn...
Well i think the prelims were more stressful but eh...
I don't think i did all that well... With ppl getting 6s and 7s... sigh...
My sissies think that i did ok, but i know that my parents aren't satisfied with my results...
What do YOU think? Sigh...
L1R5-11 L1R4-7
I'm not so happy myself but they say i didn't study as hard during my 'O's as compared to my Prelims...
But WHATEVER! Okay... What else?

I did some drawings that i saved and now i can't really find most of them... One is up there^^^ That's one of my favourite drawings you know? I know the colouring's a bit weird but still... I always sucked at colours...
And for the others, if i ever find them i'll be sure to scan them onto the comp...
Err... I drummed a little bit due to the lack of time... I think i've completely lost my touch in Drums...
What elsee... I made new friends, bonded more then ever with my old ones and met up with my old friends too... Err... I've 'learnt' how to ice-skate with consequences to learn from like the need for LONG socks!
Haha... I've read countless books and seen many movies... None of which can pop in now... Ooo... PiratesOfTheCaribbean!

I've fallen in and out of love once, twice, thrice... Time and again but i've kept my word and i've not had a single girlfriend yet! And the 'O's have ended and still NO girlfriend! I think i'm getting desperate, i need someone to hold, someone to confide in, someone who confides in me, someone to share everything with... But i'm not gonna let anyone just be my someone... I'm gonna let SOMEONE be my someone... HAHA! Future posts will show doodles on my econs notes...

Anywayyy,
i've started to wear more formal clothes now... Long sleeved clothing ROCK! And i'm listening to more and more oldies... Could it be true? Am i getting more MATURE? No Way! Get Out! Hahahaha!!!
Oldies I'm listening to: Elvis is the KING!!! Paul Anka, David Gates, etc. etc...

Oh YEAH!!! This year, i've got an OLD laptop connected to a desktop in my room... So i can use the comp in my ROOM!! I know it's kinda lame having a laptop you can't bring around but it's the best i've had...

Anyway a long post has to end nicely right? So here's a LAMMMEEE magic video of me!,

Not such a nice ending anyway... So kinda a new year, *with one month gone* and i've got the rest to face!!
YEEEEHAAAWWWW!!! Bring IT ON!!! @!#%$$@$@!#@!!! HAhaHAHAHAHA!!! WooHooo!!!

NEW BLOG!

2008-02-03T11:46:00.000-08:00

Hey all!

I'mmmm Baaackkk!!

And i love my NEW blog... Better than before!

And Now comes my new life... In JC...

When i previously posted, it was SO long ago...

So here i am back to start a new life...

Healthier, blogger, and i'm gonna be whole new me!

Just that i finally found a skin that i liked thx to designer!

And I'm going to look back at the previous year in the next post...

Hopefully it will be later!

And so CYA!

ngkk1991

Here i go again...

2007-01-05T09:14:00.000-08:00

Sigh... Another blog... I SO can't post everyday... Why... Peer pressure i guess...
Sigh... So... What's new in my life... Besides the fact that I am now in sec4...
Maybe that i have grown 1.6cm! OMG!!! I'm still growing... I dun believe it...
Haha... Hmmm... SuperTEEN on Monday... to Wednesday... I feel depressed but I'm not...
I know i'm not depressed... Right? Sigh... I certainly dun feel depressed... Maybe i'm just bored and sad... And cranky, or maybe a bit of jealousy... A tinge of guilt... A sprinkle of anger... Haha...
Okay... I really have to concentrate this year... 'O' level time!!! This is gonna be most interesting...
Goodnightie...late...

ngkk1991